Hairballs on the Carpet of Life

Happy Halloween And A Wee Update...

2010-10-31T17:25:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know, I sucketh much as a blogger. *hangs head in shame* I'm also not completely unpacked yet either. *hangs head in shame and sighs deeply*

I still haven't found the charger and extra battery for the digital camera. I'm starting to think that Mr. Hairball must have packed it in one of the "office" boxes, because it's not in any of the "computer desk area" boxes. Most of those "office" boxes are still stacked up against the wall in the study/kitty room, because he's not going to be taking them all up to his new workplace. The thought of digging through all of those boxes is overwhelming right now, so I may just have to continue to do without my camera. I really do need to start deciding which of the remaining boxes will be unpacked and which will be stored "as is" until the next move.

I've been working on some window quilts. Our apartment still has its original windows, and once the temperature outside gets below about 50F, it's chilly over by the windows. I went through my fabric stash and linen closet for some of the materials, and I went to the local thrift store for the rest. I'm sewing these by hand so it's taking me longer than if I used a sewing machine. I've got the one for our bedroom done enough that I can use it while I continue to work on it. We've had some nights where it's gotten down into the forties at night, and it's much more comfortable in there with it up than it was before. We choose to keep our heat turned down lower than a lot of people do during the colder months of the year, and these new window quilts will help keep it warmer inside.

I'm ready for election day because the political commercials are pushing me to ever closer to destroying my TV. Currently, I'm in the habit of watching/listening to TV in the mornings during the week while I pack Mr. Hairball's lunch and tidy up the kitchen. I usually turn on one of the channels that features the local news and weather so I see what's going on in Hometown City. As most of you are aware, the commercial breaks on TV right now are an endless stream of political ads. I live in ReddyMcRedville, so the candidates are really just fighting over who is the biggest Teapartier of all. I'm seriously thinking of just skipping the local news and weather until after the election. It would probably do me good not to hear about how politician X is actually a ______ (insert your scary word of choice) who hates America.

Mr. Hairball finally got all the paperwork properly filled out, stamped, signed and turned in, so that his past work experience would be properly credited, and he would get an increase in his future paychecks. He gets paid the last day of the month and it shows up early if that date is not a workday. I eagerly checked the bank Friday late afternoon to see if the paperwork had been approved early enough to change the amount of his October paycheck. It did. It made it smaller. *beats head on desk* It looks like when the information was entered that someone made a mistake and instead of having his raise added to his check, it was subtracted. Awesome.

We also still don't have our health insurance cards even though our health insurance started in September. We have a snazzy printout that we can take with us if we need to go to the doctor that says we have health insurance, but the cards are still AWOL. We've asked HR repeatedly if since his old employer used the same insurance company if the insurance company might be confused and is not issuing us new cards because it thinks we still have our plan through the old employer. HR keeps telling us no, but I find it hard to really trust them after all the drama Mr. Hairball has gone through in trying to recoup a portion of the salary he was verbally promised. He's calling them again on Monday to ask about fixing his paycheck and to remind them about the missing insurance cards.

Mr. Hairball has started looking at the job ads in his field trying to find something better for when this contract is up. He's found a few that look promising, and has started working on his application materials. The thought of possibly making another big move next summer is overwhelming for both of us, but we knew that moving to Hometown City would only be a temporary stop. His boss does seem to like him and his work, so if something better doesn't turn up for him, he should be able to stay here for another year.

We are still saving for a new laptop for Mr. Hairball over at Smarty Pig. I finally found the power cord for the old secondhand laptop, and I've been using that some during the week. Unfortunately, due to its age, it is in pretty bad shape and only the Linux side still works. Most of the time this isn't a real problem for me, except when I want to do something like use the instant watch feature at Netflix. I shouldn't complain though, at least I have access to a laptop during the week again. Hopefully by the end of the year we'll have enough saved to buy his laptop so I can get mine back again.

I'm about to make some dinner and decide on my viewing choices for tonight. Mr. Hairball doesn't really like horror movies, so he will be spending the evening in the study/kitty room while I enjoy some spooky goodness.

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate it and my apologies to those who don't. I know from spending most of my life in very conservative places, that Halloween can create divisions between those who celebrate it and those who do not. Hopefully, that will not be the case here.

Joan Crawford Week Day 5

2010-09-17T07:30:00.002-05:00

I have limited internet access right now, so comments may take a while to post.

Today's movie is The Damned Don't Cry with Joan Crawford, David Brian, Steve Cochran, Kent Smith, and Selena Royle.

Plot: Joan Crawford is a socialite with a secret past who is now suspected of murder.

Trailer:

I hope you enjoyed the movies this week.

Joan Crawford Week Day 4

2010-09-16T07:30:00.025-05:00

I have limited internet access right now, so comments may take a while to post.

Today's movie is Possessed with Joan Crawford, Van Helfin, Raymond Massey, Geraldine Brooks, Stanley Ridges, John Ridgely, Moroni Olsen, and Gerald Perreau.

Plot: Joan Crawford struggles with the obsessive love she feels for a man she can never have.

Trailer:

Joan Crawford Week Day 3

2010-09-15T07:30:00.004-05:00

I have limited internet access right now, so comments may take a while to post.

Today's movie is Humoresque with Joan Crawford, John Garfield, Oscar Levant and J. Carrol Naish.

Plot: Joan Crawford plays a wealthy woman in a loveless marriage who uses her money to help a struggling violinist. She falls deeply in love with the violinist, and is tormented by the fact that his music will always come first.

Trailer:

Joan Crawford Week Day 2

2010-09-14T07:30:00.005-05:00

I have limited internet access right now, so comments may take a while to post.

Today's movie is Mildred Pierce with Joan Crawford,Jack Carson, Zachary Scott, Eve Arden, Ann Blyth, and Bruce Bennett.

Plot: How far would a mother go to win the love of her daughter?

Trailer:

PS: If you need a laugh, here's Carol Burnett's take on Mildred Pierce.

Joan Crawford Week Day 1

2010-09-13T07:30:00.004-05:00

I have limited internet access right now, so comments may take a while to post.

Today's movie is The Women with Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, Mary Boland, Paulette Goddard, Joan Fontaine, Ruth Hussey, Marjorie Main, and Lucile Watson.

Plot: This movie is about a group of wealthy NYC women and what happens when one of them learns that her husband is having an affair with another woman.

Trailer:

It's Alive!

2010-09-12T13:12:00.002-05:00

This past week felt so strange to me without my laptop. I did fire up the desktop one day so I could check my email, make sure all was well with our ING and Smarty Pig accounts, and scan the news headlines. I moved some of our furniture around so that the desktop computer is now back in the "master bedroom" which we are using as the study/computer/kitty room. The cats were kinda annoyed with me being back there, as they had gotten used to having that room pretty much to themselves during the day. They are both grouchy old ladies who prefer a warm and quiet room for their numerous naps.

I'm still working on unpacking boxes. It's going slower than I had hoped as I keep finding boxes that I can't do anything with at this point, and if haul too many boxes around in one day, my back starts giving me fits which affects what I can do the next day. *grumble grumble* The closet in the "master bedroom" is a work in progress. It will eventually be my main kitchen pantry, various storage, and where I put the clothes that won't fit in the small closet in our bedroom. I've got two of my food storage racks arranged in there the way I want, but I'm having trouble getting a third one put back together. I need to remember NOT to take that third one apart before the next move as it's a real bear to get back together!

The dress code at Mr. Hairball's new job only lets employees wear jeans once a week, so I also spent some time hemming and taking up some of his dress pants that were too long and too big in the waist for him.

As for bad news, it seems that the portion of Mr. Hairball's paycheck discrepancy related to getting credit for all of his education and work experience will take longer to resolve than we had hoped. In the good news column, I think I'll be able to finish this month about 10% under budget for groceries, so that's more money we can put towards the "New Laptop For Mr. Hairball Fund". I've been putting my grocery store receipts up on the refrigerator as a reminder of what I can do when I put my mind to it. *grins*

We don't have cable at our new place, and the local channels I can currently receive seem to be paid up primarily of Judge XYZ, talk shows, televangelists, infomercials, and programming directed at small children. Needless to say, when I found my box of DVDs I was really excited to have some more viewing options! I spent the last week in a nice retro bubble as none of the DVDs I watched/listened to during the day contained movies or TV programs made after 1980.

I was thinking maybe I should start doing theme weeks where at least one movie/program a day fits into a theme. I own this set, so the theme for next week will be Joan Crawford movies. I'll watch them in chronological order so I'll start on Monday with The Women.

Hope all of you have a good week!

A Programming Note And Money, Money, Money...

2010-09-07T08:30:00.001-05:00

My plans to start posting more regularly have hit a snag. Mr. Hairball is going to be taking my laptop to work with him everyday, because he needs access to a decent equation editor before he goes completely insane. Tech UnSupport at his new job just keeps offering him Kool-Aid and mumbling about the awesomeness of Microsoft Office while he begs them for permission to install OpenOffice.

Because of the never-ending trainwreck known as the Human Resource department, Mr. Hairball's current pay is about 18% less than we had planned. Some of the discrepancies in his pay related to his education and experience should be resolved before his next paycheck, while others, like the signing bonus he was continually promised until someone at HR realized that he wasn't eligible, will not. Oopsie! *sighs*

In light of the above, I have reworked the household budget based on the numbers from his September paycheck, and right now, we will be able to save slightly more than 13% of our after tax income. If the people at HR do decide to finally give him full credit for his education and experience, then we will be able to increase that percentage. After all those months of pulling money out, it is a start in the right direction to finally be putting money back in savings.

Anyway, after living off our savings for a few months, paying for all of the various moving expenses, and with another large expense looming on the horizon, neither of us is comfortable right now with using some of of our current savings to buy Mr. Hairball a new laptop. I'm on the old Linux desktop right now, but my use of that computer will be limited to times when the outside temperature is less than about 85F. This baby pumps out some serious heat, and having to crank up the A/C so I can use it, really defeats the purpose of trying to save money to build our savings back up. I will have some access to my laptop at night and should have regular access to it on most weekends. Please be patient if it takes me a while to respond.

We have changed one of our Smarty Pig saving accounts goals to a fund for a new laptop for Mr. Hairball. There's a widget on the right hand side of my blog with my Smarty Pig savings goals if you want to watch my progress. My goal is to try a save a little extra wherever I can, so that the new laptop fund continues to grow every month. Mr. Hairball and I have agreed that while other savings goals need to take priority at this time, a small portion of any extra money we manage to save will go towards the laptop fund.

More later...

Old Ghosts And Hometown Rivalries

2010-09-02T20:25:00.000-05:00

In my brief post about Mr. Hairball getting a new job and us packing up for another move, I left out some rather interesting details:

Mr. Hairball's new job just happens to be located in my hometown.

My hometown is one of those places where high school football is ~~an overwhelming obsession~~ a really big deal , and there is an intense rivalry between the two public high schools in town.

Mr. Hairball stumbled into a job working for the local school district, and will be working for the high school I did not attend when I lived here.

I never thought in a million years I'd be living back in Hometown City, and dealing with the whole high school rivalry and the football obsession thing again. It was insane back then, and from the stories Mr. Hairball is telling me about what goes on at work, nothing has changed. To make things simple, we'll call the school he works at Crosstown High School, as it is the "new" school that was built when Hometown City grew large enough to need another high school. Papa Hairball attended Hometown City High, as did Brother Hairball and myself. It feels quite strange to now live in Crosstown High's district.

Mr. Hairball is constantly hearing talk of how Crosstown High School is so much better than Hometown City High in regards to X,Y, and Z, and any instance where Hometown City High School actually is doing better, is regarded as a case of bad data or some other excuse. I guess heads would explode if someone broke down and admitted that Crosstown High is usually better at X and Hometown City High is usually better at Y. *shrugs*

I drove out to see the old homestead a couple of weeks ago. The new owners have made some changes and the old house looked nice. I hadn't done that in many years as I was afraid it would be painful to see new people living in "my house". Mama Hairball told me that they were a nice family and she felt they would take good care of the house. It looks like she was right. I had forgotten just how far out of town we used to live. It's about a half hour drive from our new apartment near Crosstown High out to the old place. Pretty much another world as far as I'm concerned. I passed a gentleman driving a pickup truck on the way down my old street, and he waved at me as I passed him. Can't remember the last time a stranger waved at me like that!

Mama Hairball asked me how the town had changed as she had moved away before the last oil boom happened, and I told her that the "affluent" side was now an unending sea of big box stores, strip malls, and chain restaurants.

I guess never being more than a block away from a chain restaurant is considered progress to some people.

Still unpacking, I'll post more later on.

Now where did I put the packing tape???

2010-08-07T17:35:00.001-05:00

Dear Readers,

Mr. Hairball has found a job!! The movers will be here on Tuesday so we are packing like crazy to meet the deadline. We are both achy and exhausted from packing and stacking boxes, but are extremely grateful that he has a job. I'm going to need to take some time to get settled in the new place, but after we get settled in, I'd like to start blogging again on a more regular basis.

Best to all,

Hairball T. Hairball

PS: We've never had "real" movers before, so I feel a little like Wheezy Jefferson when she and George moved into their "deluxe apartment in the sky".

PSS: Comments will continue to be moderated to keep out the spammers, so please don't fret if your comment takes a while to be approved. As long as your comment is not spam or obscene, it should make the cut.

Ellery Queen DVD Update

2010-06-17T16:27:00.001-05:00

Long time readers may recall that I did a post last December about the planned 2010 release of the 1975 television series Ellery Queen. I just got another email from TvShowsOnDVD.com telling me that the planned release date is 9/28/2010. You can also pre-order a copy at Amazon.com.

I'm going to start saving some of my Swagbucks so I can get this for Mama Hairball's Christmas present!

Brief Update

2010-06-14T16:47:00.000-05:00

I didn't intend to be gone this long, but whenever I've tried to write a blog post, it quickly turned into a ginormous whinefest. That's not good, because I'm trying very hard to spend too much time with the 'bad elves'. I'm sure you've met Whiny, Bitchy, Extra-Snarky, Revenge, Envy, and Not Fair, Dammit! before?

They can make a huge mess of your home and drink all of your adult beverages before passing out on your couch. Fortunately, meeting them at the door with a shotgun seems to have the same effect as it does on pesky salesfolk and people who have a hard time understanding that you are really not interested in attending services at their particular place of worship. *evil grin*

Mr. Hairball's job situation is still unresolved, but there are still some possibilities on the horizon. We'll likely have to move again, but that comes with the turf. I promised Mr. Hairball before we married that I would go wherever his job took us. I intend to keep my promise.

Our personal lives have been challenging as we've dealt with financial issues, loved ones in the hospital, a death, and the sad news that after several years of marriage counseling, one of our relatives has decided that a divorce is his only option.

Luckily for Mr. Hairball and I, the hard times have always brought us closer together to face whatever challenges are thrown our way. This time is no different. One day, we'll laugh about this time, just like we do about a Christmas during "The Grad School Years", when we were so poor that we only had five dollars to spend on gifts. Our local grocery store had just had a sale on their frozen foods and had put their frozen pizzas on sale for $.50 each! We had a big stack of them in the freezer and if you sprinkled a little more cheese on top they weren't too bad.*grins* We didn't own a pizza cutter though, so both of us came up with the idea to buy the other one a pizza cutter from the dollar store for Christmas. 'Pizza Cutter Christmas' will always be one of my favorite memories because we laughed so hard at the pizza cutters and really enjoyed our time together away from work (me) and school (him).

We've never lived in the lap of luxury, but we've always had food and a roof over our head. That makes us quite fortunate compared to a lot of people in this world.

This too shall pass.

Sincerely,

Hairball T. Hairball

PS: Please notice that the comments are now moderated on my blog. I had to do this because in my absence, some people had decided that my blog was an appropriate place to advertise adult websites. Not cool.

Happy Birthday, Rosie Hawthorne!

2010-01-26T00:01:00.002-06:00

Hope your special day is filled with food, friends, and family!!

Happy New Year!!

2010-01-01T00:01:00.004-06:00

My wish for you on this day is that the coming year is filled with hope, love, kindness, and joy.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

PS: Whoot!!!!!

Santa's Revenge

2009-12-26T10:02:00.002-06:00

I must still be on the 'good' list, as I didn't receive one of these for Christmas.

For my readers on dial-up, it's a Snuggie made out of a ginormous ShamWow. Because it's so absorbent, you'll never have to leave your couch again. Eww!

PS: In attempting to be clever, I lost some stuff while updating my blog. It will probably be a few days before I track everything down again so I can replace it.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Christmas Day

2009-12-25T00:01:00.011-06:00

For Christmas Day I have selected A Christmas Carol. Pick whichever version is your favorite as there are quite a few good versions of Dickens' story. As for me, I think I'll watch The Muppet Christmas Carol today.

Here's some of the songs from the movie:

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La...Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T08:01:00.006-06:00

Today's movie is It's a Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, Henry Travers, and Beulah Bondi.

Before we watch that trailer, here is a short message from the same year as the movie:

Plot
Jimmy Stewart has put off following his own ambitions his entire life to the betterment of his family and town. He is now contemplating suicide as the solution to a pressing financial problem, and believes that everyone would be better off if he had never been born. An angel, Henry Travers, is dispatched to show Jimmy Stewart the shocking reality of what his family and town would be like without his presence.

Christmas Songs and Birthday Wishes

2009-12-24T07:30:00.005-06:00

Happy Birthday to my friend Joe of the 70s-child blog!

If you have ever searched for O Holy Night on YouTube, you have likely come across this earsplitting version. Can you say contrast?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 23

2009-12-23T08:01:00.007-06:00

Today's movie is White Christmas starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen, Dean Jagger, Mary Wickes, John Brascia, and Anne Whitfield.

Plot:
Bing and Danny are successful entertainers who meet and decide to follow Rosemary and Vera-Ellen to a Vermont resort where the ladies are booked as the singing act. The resort is owned by Dean Jagger who was Bing and Danny's beloved commanding officer when they were in the Army. The resort is struggling since Vermont is having a warm and snow-less season, so Bing comes up with a plan to help Dean Jagger.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 22

2009-12-22T08:01:00.004-06:00

Today's movie is The Bishop's Wife starring Cary Grant, Loretta Young, David Niven, Monty Woolley, James Gleason, Gladys Cooper, Elsa Lanchester, Sara Haden, and Karolyn Grimes.

This is another film where the trailer doesn't tell you anything about the movie.

Here's another clip from the movie.

Plot: David Niven desperately wants a new cathedral to be built, but the wealthy benefactress funding the cathedral, has her own ideas about the project. He is so focused on getting the cathedral built, that he is ignoring everything else in his life including his family. Cary Grant is the angel who is dispatched to help David Niven, in answer to his prayer for guidance.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 21

2009-12-21T08:01:00.158-06:00

Today's movie is The Bells of St. Mary's starring Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, William Gargan, Ruth Donnelly, Joan Carroll, Martha Sleeper, Rhys Williams, Richard Tyler, and Una O'Connor.

Trailer

Plot: In this sequel to Going My Way, Bing Crosby has been assigned to a parochial school that has seen better days. Ingrid Bergman is the principal, and she and the other Sisters have been praying for a new building to house the school. Bing Crosby thinks it would be best to shut down the old school and send the children elsewhere. Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman are continually butting heads with one another, but both of them help others in their own unique way.

Lunch With Snads!

2009-12-20T11:46:00.000-06:00

In honor of the holiday season, I generously invited Snads to come over and have lunch with me. Here's some video from our lunch.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 20

2009-12-20T08:01:00.029-06:00

Today's movie is Going My Way starring Bing Crosby, Barry Fitzgerald, Frank McHugh, James Brown, Gene Lockhart, Jean Heather, Porter Hall, Fortunio Bonanova, Eily Malyon, and The Robert Mitchell Boy Choir.

Plot: Bing Crosby is a young priest assigned to a new parish. Barry Fitzgerald is an older priest at the same parish who doesn't understand the ways of this young priest. Can Bing Crosby win over the old priest, and the neighborhood?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 19

2009-12-19T08:01:00.059-06:00

Today's movie is The Thin Man starring William Powell, Myrna Loy, Maureen O'Sullivan, Nat Pendleton, Minna Gombell, Porter Hall, Henry Wadsworth, William Henry, Harold Huber, and Cesar Romero.

Now some of you may be scratching your heads at this choice. This movie does take place at Christmas time, and that's a a good enough reason to spend some time with Nick and Nora Charles!

Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

Plot: A friend of William Powell's has gone missing and is suspected of murder. His daughter, Maureen O'Sullivan, comes to William Powell and asks him to clear her father's name. Plenty of witty banter and cocktails will be served up before the murderer is revealed.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 18

2009-12-18T08:01:00.012-06:00

Today's movie is We're No Angels starring Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, Peter Ustinov, Joan Bennett, Basil Rathbone, Leo G. Carroll, John Baer, and Gloria Talbott.

I can't find a trailer, but here is a scene from the movie:

Plot: Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, and Peter Ustinov are three criminals who break out of prison right before Christmas. They plan to steal from a local storekeeper, but then take pity on him and his family after learning more about them. The prisoners hatch a a plan to help the family which involves the use of Peter Ustinov's pet.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 17

2009-12-17T08:01:00.087-06:00

Today's movie is The Christmas Box starring Richard Thomas, Maureen O'Hara, Annette O'Toole, Kelsey Mulrooney, Robert Curtis Brown, Michael Ensign, and Greg Brouwer.

I'm sorry, but I'm unable to find a trailer for this movie.

Plot: Richard Thomas, Annette O'Toole, and Kelsey Mulrooney move into Maureen O'Hara's home to provide light housekeeping and yard-work in exchange for room and board. Richard Thomas has dreams of financial success and works crazy hours at his store with his eyes on his future goal. Kelsey and Annette are gradually able to befriend Maureen, but Richard doesn't like her, especially when she keeps asking him the same question - "What was the first gift of Christmas?" Curious about some odd events that happen in the house, Richard finds a box in the attic which helps him better understand Maureen and how the events of her life have shaped her.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 16

2009-12-16T08:01:00.008-06:00

Today's feature is The Christmas Card starring Edward Asner, John Newton, Alice Evans, Lois Nettleton, Ben Weber, Peter Jason, Andrew Sanford, Kate Hamon, Glorinda Marie, and Charlie Holliday.

Plot: Alice Evans is a young woman who participates in a local church activity of sending Christmas cards to troops stationed outside the US. John Newton is a soldier who receives her card. John's friend is killed and he is asked to deliver his deceased friend's dog tags to his fiancee, who just happens to live in the same town as Alice. After visiting with his late friend's fiancee, he accidentally bumps into Alice and eventually ends up saving her father's life. Alice's family invites him to Christmas dinner and he soon grows very attached to Alice and her family. Did I mention that Alice already has a steady boyfriend??

Feedjit Foolishness part 7645

2009-12-16T07:30:00.002-06:00

As many of you know already, Feedjit can be highly entertaining. Let's take a look at one of the search terms that brought a visitor to my blog:

United States arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life: Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 14" by searching for my dishwasher has hairballs.

What?!?

The 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special!!

2009-12-15T10:32:00.024-06:00

Today on super crappy holiday themed theatre, we have The Star Wars Holiday Special starring... oh just follow the link and see for yourself. Somebody must have had pictures of these folks naked and cavorting with goats to force them to appear in this nightmare.

Plot: Uh, kids will watch complete and utter crap if you tie it in with a popular movie? Chewbacca's father is named Itchy and his son is named Lumpy, Carrie Fisher sings, there's some red Snuggies, and all manners of weirdness. It's a freakin' trainwreck. Enjoy!

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 15

2009-12-15T08:01:00.008-06:00

Today's movie is A Christmas Story starring Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Peter Billingsley, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz, R.D. Robb, Tedde Moore, Yano Anaya, and Zack Ward.

Plot: Peter Billingsley has his heart set on getting a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas even though every adult including Santa, tells him that "You'll shoot your eye out!" Will Santa relent and give Peter his treasured BB gun?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 14

2009-12-14T08:01:00.004-06:00

Today we have Home Alone starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Roberts Blossom, Catherine O'Hara, Angela Goethals, Devin Ratray, Gerry Bamman, Hillary Wolf, and John Candy.

Plot:
Macaulay Culkin is accidentally left behind as his family rushes to catch a plane to Paris. He enjoys being on his own until two burglars show up on Christmas Eve. It's up to eight year old Macaulay Culkin to hilariously defend the family homestead until the adults return.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 13

2009-12-13T08:01:00.008-06:00

Today we have Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas which stars the voices of Jerry Nelson, Melissa Rabbit, Frank Oz, Marilyn Sokol, Dave Goelz, Richard Hunt, Eren Ozker, and Jim Henson.

The program as originally aired no longer exists due to various edits made over the years. The video below is from a fan who laments these changes. For reference purposes, here's a list of the changes that have been made.

Plot: What do you do if you are poor otter with a great singing voice who wants to buy a gift for a loved one at Christmas? You enter a singing contest with hopes of winning the $50 prize!!

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 12

2009-12-12T08:01:00.002-06:00

Today we have The Year Without a Santa Claus and The Little Drummer Boy.

'Santa Claus' stars the voices of Shirley Booth, Mickey Rooney, Dick Shawn, George S. Irving, Bob McFadden, Rhoda Mann, Bradley Bolke, Ron Marshall, Colin Duffy, and Christine Winter.

Plot:
Santa Claus has a cold and decides to stay home in bed this year. Mrs. Claus and two of his elves decide to show Santa that the Christmas spirit is alive and well and how much he means to the world.

'Drummer Boy' stars the voices of José Ferrer, Paul Frees, June Foray, Ted Eccles, Greer Garson, and The Vienna Boys Choir.

Plot:
Aaron is an orphan whose only friends are a lamb, a camel, and a donkey. An unscrupulous man persuades Aaron to join his troupe of traveling performers and then sells his beloved camel without Aaron's permission. Aaron leaves the troupe and tracks down his camel, but in the process his lamb is badly injured. Aaron needs a miracle to save his friend.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 11

2009-12-11T08:01:00.002-06:00

Today we have How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Santa Claus is Comin' to Town.

The 'Grinch' stars the voices of Boris Karloff, June Foray, and Thurl Ravenscroft.

Plot:
The Grinch hates everything associated with Christmas. He comes up with a plan to stop the celebration of Christmas in a nearby village and makes his dog an unwilling accomplice.

'Santa Claus' stars the voices of Fred Astaire, Mickey Rooney, Keenan Wynn, Paul Frees, Joan Gardner, and Robie Lester.

Trailer

Plot: This is the story of Santa's early years from being found as an infant on a doorstep, up to the time of meeting the future Mrs. Claus. Along the way, Santa teaches us that sometimes within a gruff exterior lurks a heart that will respond to an act of kindness.

Gagstastic emails part XV

2009-12-11T07:58:00.007-06:00

Here's a portion of a gagtastic email I recently received:

I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

So what exactly do you propose be done with those who annoy you? Have you thought about the fact that you are annoying to others? Is it okay for them to strike back at you?

It's really sad that being exposed to anyone different than yourself is so threatening to you. The quickest way to turn your mind to mush is to surround yourself only with those who think exactly like you do.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 10

2009-12-10T08:01:00.007-06:00

Today we have Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Rudolph stars the voices of Burl Ives, Billie Mae Richards, Paul Soles, Larry D. Mann, Stan Francis, Paul Kligman, Janet Orenstein, Alfie Scopp, Carl Banas, Corinne Conley, and Peg Dixon.

Plot:
Rudolph is the story of a young reindeer who is ostracized because he is different from the other reindeer. He and his "misfit" friends, learn that it's always best to be true to yourself even if others don't understand or appreciate your differences. One day those differences just might save the day!

Twas the Night Before Christmas stars the voices of George Gobel, Joel Grey, Tammy Grimes, Patricia Bright, Scott Firestone, Bob McFadden, John McGiver, Allen Swift, and Christine Winter.

I can't find a trailer, but here's the entire program.

Plot:
An entire town receives their letters to Santa returned unopened. Someone in their town has deeply offended Santa by writing a letter to the editor in the town paper denouncing his existence. Joshua Trundle decides to do something big in order to persuade Santa to change his mind about their town. Is it too late??

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 9

2009-12-09T08:01:00.004-06:00

Today we have Frosty the Snowman and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

The starring voices from Frosty are Jimmy Durante, Billy De Wolfe, Jackie Vernon, Paul Frees, and June Foray.

Here's a clip from Frosty.

Plot:
Hinkle, a stage magician, throws away his top hat and when a group of kids use it as a hat for their snowman, he magically comes to life. Hinkle then sees the value of the hat and decides to get it back. Frosty knows that he can't stay for long as the temperature is rising and he will soon melt. Karen, one of the kids who helped build Frosty, decides to stow away with Frosty on a refrigerated rail car headed for the North Pole. Frosty needs freezing temps to survive, Karen needs warmth and Hinkle is bound and determined to reclaim his hat. What a dilemma!

A Charlie Brown Christmas stars the voices of Peter Robbins, Christopher Shea, Chris Doran, Bill Melendez, Tracy Stratford, Kathy Steinberg, Ann Altieri, Sally Dryer, Mimi Gibson, Karen Mendelson, and Geoffrey Ornstein

Here's a clip from the part about the play:

Plot:
Charlie Brown is a kid who is depressed by the commercialization and materialism of modern-day Christmas. He becomes the director of the school Christmas play which is an exercise in frustration. He decides that a real Christmas tree would help the play, and so he buys the last tree he can find which is very small and quite sparse. The other kids make fun of his tree and Charlie Brown sadly wonders if perhaps he is the one who doesn't really understand the true meaning of Christmas...

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 8

2009-12-08T08:01:00.003-06:00

Today's movie is Come to the Stable starring Loretta Young, Celeste Holm, Hugh Marlowe, and Elsa Lanchester.

I can't find a trailer, but the entire film is currently available at Hulu.

Plot:
Loretta Young and Celeste Holm are two nuns from France who arrive in the small New England town of Bethlehem with the dream of building a hospital for sick children. The Sisters discover the perfect spot for the hospital and the owner agrees to give them the land for free if they will agree to install a stained glass window honoring his late son in the completed hospital. The Sisters then acquire a three month option on an old bottling plant to use until the hospital can be built. Unfortunately, the sisters misunderstood the terms of the contract on the bottling plant, and it will take a miracle to save their dream.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 7

2009-12-07T08:01:00.003-06:00

Today's movie is The Shop Around the Corner starring Margaret Sullavan, Jimmy Stewart, Frank Morgan, Joseph Schildkraut , Sara Haden, Felix Bressart, William Tracy, and Inez Courtney.

Plot:
Jimmy Stewart is a young man who works in a gift shop who is in love with a female pen pal that he has never met. Margaret Sullavan is his coworker at the gift shop, and these two coworkers can't stand one another! Jimmy Stewart then discovers that Margaret Sullavan and his pen pal are one and the same. Can you say awkward?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 6

2009-12-06T08:01:00.002-06:00

The movie for today is Holiday Affair starring Robert Mitchum, Janet Leigh, Wendell Corey, Gordon Gebert, Griff Barnett, and Esther Dale.

Sorry, I can't find a trailer for you to watch.

Plot:
Janet Leigh is a young widow working as a "comparison shopper" to support herself and her young son. Robert Mitchum is the clerk who waits on her and figures out that she is not a regular customer when she buys an expensive train set and doesn't ask any questions about it. She returns again with the train the next day, and Robert Mitchum takes pity on her after she explains that she is a war widow and allows her to return the train. He also decides not to turn her into his boss for being a spy, which leads to him being fired. Robert then invites Janet to lunch where he tells he about his plans to leave NYC and go build sailboats with a friend in California. Janet Leigh has a steady boyfriend who wants to marry her, and now this intriguing drifter is turning her head. What is a girl to do?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 5

2009-12-05T08:01:00.005-06:00

Today's movie is The Lemon Drop Kid starring Bob Hope, Marilyn Maxwell, Lloyd Nolan, Jane Darwell, Andrea King, and Fred Clark.

I can't find a trailer for this film, but here is a clip from the movie where they introduce the world to the now famous Christmas song, Silver Bells.

Plot:
Bob Hope is a hustler who manages to get himself in deep with gangster Fred Clark. He comes up with a surefire scheme at Christmastime to raise the $10,000 he owes to Fred.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 4

2009-12-04T08:01:00.003-06:00

Today's movie is I'll Be Seeing You starring Ginger Rogers, Joseph Cotton, Shirley Temple, Spring Byington and Tom Tully.

I've been unable to find a trailer for this film.

Plot:
Ginger Rogers has a secret. She meets and falls for Joseph Cotton while traveling by train to spend Christmas with her relatives. Joseph Cotton has his own secret to keep. Can these two overcome the secrets of the past and find happiness together?

PS: It's snowing this morning in Hairballville which is quite rare.

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 3

2009-12-03T08:01:00.003-06:00

Today's movie is Remember the Night starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, and Willard Robertson.

I can't find a version of the trailer that I can embed, but here's a link to it at Turner Classic Movies.

Plot:
Barbara Stanwyck is a thief who has been caught shoplifting for the third time. Fred MacMurry is the prosecuting attorney who fears that the jury might let her off easy because it's Christmastime, so he asks for a continuance until after Christmas. Fred MacMurry then feels guilty about Barbara Stanwyck staying in jail over Christmas, so he bails her out. He intends to drop her off to spend Christmas with her own family, but ends up taking her with him to visit his family. What will happen when they return to NYC for the trial?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 2

2009-12-02T08:01:00.005-06:00

The movie for today is Miracle on 34th Street starring Maureen O'Hara, Edmund Gwenn, John Payne, and Natalie Wood.

I'll warn you know that the trailer doesn't tell you much about the storyline! Believe it or not, the film was released in May of 1947 and they decided to try and find a way to draw people in while keeping it a secret that the film is a Christmas movie.

Here' s the plot:
Maureen O'Hara is in charge of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and it is brought to her attention by Edmund Gwenn that the man she hired to play Santa Claus is hopelessly drunk.Luckily, Edmund Gwenn agrees to take over the role for the parade. He is such a success that he is asked to stay on as the department store Santa at Macy's. There's just one problem. Edmund Gwenn actually believes that he is Santa Claus. Maureen O'Hara and her young daughter Natalie Wood are both skeptics who don't believe in legends or fairy tales, while John Payne, who would like nothing more than to be Maureen's husband and Natalie's stepfather, believes that Edmund Gwenn really is Santa Claus. Could it be true? Could there actually be a Santa Claus?

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 1

2009-12-01T13:30:00.003-06:00

Well, December 1st is here, so let's get in the mood with a Christmas movie. The selection for today is Christmas in Connecticut starring Barbara Stanwyck, Dennis Morgan, Sydney Greenstreet, Reginald Gardiner, and S.Z. Sakall.

For those of you unable to watch the trailer, the plot goes like this:

Barbara Stanwyck writes a popular column in a ladies magazine where she paints a picture of domestic bliss on a farm with her adoring husband and infant son. She writes of home-cooked gourmet meals and a beautiful home filled with antiques. The truth is she is an unmarried "career girl" living in a NYC apartment who doesn't know anything about cooking.

Her boss, Sydney Greenstreet, who is unaware of Barbara's deception, decides it would be wonderful advertising for the magazine if Barbara and her husband would invite Dennis Morgan to spend an idyllic Christmas at their farm. Dennis Morgan is a sailor who has just been released from the hospital after returning from the war. Sydney Greenstreet also invites himself to spend Christmas at the farm much to Barbara's dismay.

So Barbara needs to learn how to cook gourmet meals, as well as come up with a farm, husband, and a baby or she's going to be out of a job!

Ellery Queen!

2009-12-01T08:01:00.001-06:00

I just found out that the 1975 television series Ellery Queen, will be released on DVD in 2010!

Ellery Queen

Michael K. | MySpace Video

If you are not familiar with this series, here is a website devoted to the show.

Does anybody know if Santa takes advance orders??

I Love The Muppets!

2009-11-30T06:35:00.003-06:00

I know most of you have seen these already, but if not, enjoy!

Imagine if Snads had one of these!

Food Network Humor and Snads!

2009-11-30T06:32:00.000-06:00

I haven't been watching that much TV lately, so I'm not up on what is going on with crazy Snads. Thankfully, Food Network Humor is helping me out by letting me know that Snads did a holiday special on HGTV. Here's a clip from their post:

Snads, in order to have life-like expressions, you must be able to move your entire face. When you raise your eyebrows and your forehead doesn't move, you don't look young and fresh, you look old and Botoxed.

Flashback Friday-TV4U

2009-11-27T08:02:00.004-06:00

Recently, while doing a search to see if I could find a place to watch episodes of The Edge of Night online (the answer is no), I happened to come across TV4U. TV4U has lots of old TV shows, commercials, and movies that you can watch for free. It looks like the bulk of their programming is from the '40s, '50s, and '60s.

Happy viewing to my retro/vintage loving readers!

Whoot!! T-day is here!

2009-11-26T08:02:00.004-06:00

By the time you read this, I should be cooking up a storm. Here's a link to my post from last Christmas with all my recipes. The only change is that I didn't make rolls like I usually do. Yep, I really suck for not making my own this year. *grins*

I've dug out some of my Christmas movies and animated specials for Mr. Hairball and I to watch/listen to while the turkey cooks. I will of course cry when Frosty melts and when the toys on the island of misfit toys think that Santa has forgotten them. I'll also sing along with Bing, Danny, Rosemary and Vera in White Christmas. After dinner, we'll put up our Christmas decorations and call the relatives to see how their day went.

Hope all of you who are celebrating today, have a lovely day filled with friends, family, and lots of tasty food!

EDITED TO ADD:
I made some changes to my turkey recipe because I now own a nice oven safe thermometer and wanted to try it out. Click the 'recipes' link if you are interested.

RECIPE: $plurge Cookies

2009-11-17T14:20:00.000-06:00

This is a recipe I have been tweaking with since the summer. I shared some of these cookies with other people, and I've had several requests for the recipe so I think it is a keeper!

I started calling these $plurge cookies because they are a little more expensive to make than my usual chocolate chip cookie recipe. I like to buy my vanilla beans in bulk, which really helps to make using real vanilla beans in recipes an affordable luxury. Here's a link to the beans I bought last summer- JR Mushrooms & Specialties. The current price is $29.95 for a half pound of beans. If you scroll down on the product page, you will see that they are currently offering free shipping. JR Mushrooms & Specialties also offers their vanilla beans in other quantities as well.

You are going to need a food processor for this recipe. A large one is best, but if you only have one of the smaller kind, I'll tell you how to make these using that and your mixer. The recipe for these is at down at the bottom of this post.

For those of you with a large food processor, place your vanilla beans and brown sugar in the work bowl, and process until it looks like...

this. Click on the picture to enlarge it if you would like this up close. For those of you who only have a small food processor, see the starred portion of the recipe below.

Now, add your butter and process until it looks like...

this. Can you see all the little vanilla bean flecks? Mmmmm!

Now, add your eggs ( you know to crack those individually into small bowl first in case you get a bad one, right?) and vanilla extract to the work bowl and process until it looks like...

Holy Crap! Thank you Snads, for reminding me to add sunscreen and oranges to my grocery list. Meanwhile, you want to process your batter until it looks like...

this.

Next, add your flour, baking soda, and salt to the work-bowl, and once again, process until it looks like...

this.

Place your chips/candy and nuts in a large mixing bowl. My chocolate chips have that white appearance because they have bloomed. Unfortunately, my pantry is not air-conditioned so it does gets pretty warm in there most of the year. Sorry about that!

Scrape the batter into the bowl of chips/candy and nuts, and stir until combined.

Portion out your dough as indicated below. I prefer to bake these a few at a time because there is nothing better than cookies right out of the oven! Just store the remaining dough in a covered container in your refrigerator, and be sure to bake all the dough within a few days of making it.

Let them cool a bit, and scarf them down!

$plurge Cookies
3 whole vanilla beans
1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup (1/2 lb.) butter at room temperature
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups peanut butter chips or Reese's Pieces or replace all of the chips with 3 cups of the chocolate/peanut butter swirled ones
2 cups pecan halves

Method:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, place your nuts and chips/candy and set aside.

Place the vanilla beans and brown sugar in the work-bowl of your food processor and pulse until the beans are finely ground. ( If you still have a few larger bits left don't worry!) Add the butter and pulse until smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla and pulse until smooth. Add your flour, baking soda, and salt and pulse until smooth. Scrape out the dough into the mixing bowl with the chips/candy and nuts, and stir with a wooden spoon until combined. Drop dough onto ungreased baking sheets in (approximately) 2 tablespoon portions and bake for about 10 minutes. They should still be soft so let them sit on the pans till they stiffen up a bit before trying to remove them from the pans.

I use two 18" x 13" half sheet pans for these when I bake them all at once, and I bake each pan alone to get the best results.

*****If you only have a smaller food processor, place the vanilla beans and as much as the brown sugar that will fit, into the work-bowl, and process until the beans are finely ground. Then, place all of the brown sugar and butter in your mixing bowl and beat until smooth, scraping down the bowl as needed. In another smaller bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt. Beat the flour mixture into the sugar/butter mixture until well incorporated.

If you have dough hooks, put those on and work in the chips/candy and nuts. If you don't have dough hooks or don't want to use them, just stir the chips/candy and nuts mixture into the cookie dough. Bake as directed above.

Curveball At 12 O'clock

2009-11-17T14:10:00.000-06:00

Some of you have probably noticed that I haven't been blogging or visiting your blogs very much lately. At first, I was kinda in a funk and was just keeping myself busy doing other things, then Mr. Hairball came home last month with some bad news. His employer has decided not to renew his contract at work, which means that he will be out of job in a few months.

Even in a good economy, his field is highly competitive and there are always more people than jobs to go around. Needless to say, we were not happy at this turn of events. He's already found some positions he can apply for and is spending his evenings looking for another job.

I've already informed some of my relatives which really is a trying experience to say the least. While I've explained this to my relatives numerous times, they still don't understand that the rules for finding a job in career field A can be very different than the rules for finding a job in career field B. I'm all for thinking outside of the box, but if the employers in your field are box people, you gotta learn to play their game unless you are in the enviable position of being a hot commodity. If one of my relatives tells me one more time that Mr. Hairball just needs to do XYZ, which is something that is just not done in his field, I think I'm going to scream.

Here's the deal, I don't want this to become the main topic of my blog because you all have your own problems to worry about. Also, the way things work in Mr. Hairball's field is that you hurry to get all your stuff in and then you ever so impatiently wait for news. We likely won't know anything till January (yes, January!) at the earliest. If I get five or more comments saying that you want to know what happens, I'll do a post when I know something. If less than five of you are interested, then you can always email me (check my profile) and I will email you back when I know something. Deal?

Okay, now lets make some cookies as butter, pecans, and chocolate chips are the cure for everything that ails you!! Whoot!

Gagstastic emails part XIV-More Sisterchick Nonsense

2009-10-29T12:02:00.001-05:00

Thanks to my non-sisterchick friend Rosie, who shared this gagtastic email with me for my series. I predict that your fondest culinary dream will come to pass in exactly nine minutes if you stand on your head and cluck like a chicken. Whoot!

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~"Oh Crap, She's up!"

Sister, life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.

Yes, you should treat your loved ones right and I suggest starting right now by not sending gagtastic emails.

Love the ones who don't just because you can.

Be sure and act very smug while doing so.

Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.

We've talked about this before, but obviously you need to be ~~severely beaten about the head and shoulders~~ reminded again. When someone is having a hard time or has suffered a loss of some sort, they don't want an overcaffeinated cheerleader burbling about how God wants you to be unemployed or have cancer, or whatever they happen to be facing at that moment. You can sit with them if they want to cry, lend an ear if they feel like talking, take them somewhere to blow off steam, bring over some dinner, or even help out by walking the dog or watching the kids, but don't pat them on the shoulder and vomit platitudes in their face. Got it?

Today is sister's day,send this to all your sisters, mothers, daughters, girlfriends even me if I am like one. If you get back 7, you are loved.

Yep, you are loved by a pack of idiots who believe every crackpot urban legend and conspiracy theory they ever met. Aren't you proud?

Happy Sister's Day!

I LOVE YA SISTA'!!! :-)

Somehow, I doubt that...

Girlfriend and Sister's Week
I am only as strong as the chocolate I eat, the hair spray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life... Here's to you!

Um not to be nit-picky or anything, but earlier you were talking about God, and now he's missing from your list of what makes you strong?!? *boggle*

National Girlfriends Day
What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls? Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake!

Well, we would probably spend less money on shopping, eating out, and traveling. Personally, being in a car full of sisterchicks for more than 3 seconds sounds like Hell on earth to me. I'm obviously missing the sisterchick gene. *shrugs*

TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!

If you get this twice you know you have more than one girlfriend... Be Happy!

I won't be receiving multiple copies of this as I don't forward this kind of junk to others. My small circle of friends thinks these emails are beyond stupid.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU! It is good to be a woman.

I'm so tired of the giggly idiot = woman equation you keep hawking. If I wave something shiny in your face will you promise to get all distracted and leave?

Gagstastic emails part XIII-The Clock

2009-10-08T08:02:00.001-05:00

To so many great women that I know and love. cheers to you!!!!

Crap!!!

The Clock - read all the way to the end (SO TRUE)

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED: To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

Well, duh! If the process of living doesn't shape and change you into a better person along the way, you're doing it wrong.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

NOW YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK!!!!

Oh goody, here comes the sisterchick emotional blackmail garbage.

IN 9 MINUTES SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY,

It doesn't take nine minutes to delete this crap.

BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL 9 SISTERS YOU LOVE THEM, INCLUDING ME. GO!!!!

How about I tell you a really lame joke? How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow. *rim shot*

One Flaw In Women

One? Just one? *laughs hysterically* Did you not attend high school?

Women have strengths that amaze men.

Not this old crap again!

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

...And men don't??

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

And urine! BRB

They smile when they want to scream.

Yeah, ignoring your feelings is really a healthy way to live.

They sing when they want to cry.

Uh, no. I cry when I want to cry. Pretending to be happy when you are miserable is a really bad idea for anybody.

They cry when they are happy

Okay, I'll give you this one. Sometimes you can have 'tears of joy'.

and laugh when they are nervous.

Some men do that too.

They fight for what they believe in.

As do men...

They stand up to injustice.

Once again, so do men.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

Again, this is not exclusive to women.

They go without so their family can have.

Sorry, Charlie. I don't think it's a good idea to encourage women to play martyr like that. Sooner or later she's going to get very angry when nobody notices her sacrifices and praises her for it. Work it out so that one person doesn't always get the old, cold tater.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

Once again this is not exclusive to women. Men can also be very nurturing to those they care about.

They love unconditionally.

Men are also capable of this. Haven't you ever seen a devoted father with his chronically ill child?

They cry when their children excel

Have you never been to a graduation and seen the fathers struggling to hold back tears when their child graduates??

and cheer when their friends get awards.

Ditto for the guys.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding

Look, the average guy may not be so big on all the wedding details or baby showers, but they want their friends and family to be happy just like women. To be honest, *I* could go the rest of my life without attending another baby or bridal shower as I find them pretty boring, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy for the people involved.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member,

And men don't grieve?? It make look different than your grief, but it's still grief.

yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

Once again, this is not exclusive to women.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

The average man may not be as openly affectionate as the average woman, but sometimes it's nice to just have somebody sit quietly with you and support you just by being there.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Men, on the other hand, are androids made in huge factories.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

Yeah, you never hear stories about guys giving kidneys to their best friends, helping relatives move to third floor walk-up apartments, or sending flowers every year to their mothers on her birthday. Who would want that, when you can get a whole slew of idiotic chain emails everyday that threaten emotional blackmail if you don't return them ASAP?

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

Dammit! now I've got that idiotic song in my head.

They bring joy, hope and love.

Can you pick up a pizza too? I don't feel like cooking tonight.

They have compassion and ideas.

So all men are idiotic jerks?? That's nice...

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Are all the men you know narcissistic jerks? I really want to know, as you have obviously decided that only women possess positive attributes.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

Yeah, it was really vital that you sent this email to me.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

They like to send these stupid emails!!

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

So they must receive 5000 idiotic emails to prop up their practically nonexistent self-esteem? I'm begging you to seek professional help if getting these emails is what gets you through the day.

Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

If you really do think you are absolute crap, getting this email is not going to change anything.

Feedjit Foolishness II

2009-10-01T10:30:00.003-05:00

I was browsing over my Feedjit results and discovered a couple that I'd like to share with you. I'm always very interested in the search terms that bring people over to HOTCOL. I'll warn you that part of today's edition is possibly NSFW.

SPOILER SPACE

Warminster, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life" by searching for dessert hairball recipe.

This had me really puzzled and a bit queasy at first, but I found a Halloween recipe for a Hairball Salad With Saliva Dressing . I'm going to assume that this person had an actual dessert in mind and will not be chowing down on what the cat coughed up.

Sunnyvale, California arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life: Gagstastic emails part V" by searching for wife hairball vagina.

Wow! I mean, um... gee....

*stares at wall and blinks rapidly*

Um, did you actually have sex ed, or are you just making it up as you go along?

*stares at wall and blinks rapidly again*

So...um... do you insert them?

Do you tape them on like some bizarre version of a merkin?

Please tell me that your wife doesn't pretend to give birth to them?

Just how drunk or high does one have to be to get to a place where this sounds like a good thing to do?

You know, I've cleaned up my fair share of hairballs and I can honestly say that I've never once looked at one and thought...

Marvin Gaye-Let's Get It On.

Uh... I think I need a drink and a gallon of some brain bleach.

Broken Beater Strikes Again

2009-09-29T12:58:00.010-05:00

Dear KitchenAid,

I really hate the "turbo" beaters you are using on your hand mixers. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the last time and replaced the broken beaters, but this is just ridiculous.

I'm an avid home baker, and if your beaters can't "Mix Cookie Dough Easily", there is no reason for me to have a KitchenAid hand mixer.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

Flashback Friday!

2009-09-18T08:01:00.001-05:00

Here's a few mysteries that I recently added to my DVD collection. There's a link under each movie to its IMDB page with pictures and other information about each film.

Murder On The Orient Express- 1974

Murder By Death-1976

Death On The Nile-1978

Evil Under The Sun-1982

Have a good weekend!!

Gagtastic email part XIII- The Little Things

2009-09-17T08:01:00.004-05:00

If you are in mourning right now, you better skip this one.

____________________________________________

The ' L I T T L E ' Things~

As you might remember, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.

One's
Car wouldn't start.

One couldn't
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.

He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be
At this very moment..

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,

You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.

Pass this on to someone else, if you'd like. There is NO LUCK attached.
If you delete this, it's okay: God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail!!
(that's the cool part)

A M E N

*sighs and shakes head*

The next time you have a personal tragedy in your life, I'm going to take the high road and offer you my condolences. You see, most people consider it rude to tell a person that if God liked you or your loved one(s) a little better, he would have prevented your personal tragedy.

PS: I thought we had this all settled after you sent that last email.

Couch Potato

2009-09-09T10:30:00.001-05:00

Back when I was a college student, I bought a faux leather love seat when a friend and I decided to rent a little house near campus. After twenty years and numerous moves, that poor love seat was in pretty sad shape. Mr. Hairball and I had been planning to replace it for several years, but every time we saved up enough money for a new couch, something would happen that required our "couch money". This summer, Mr. Hairball was offered an opportunity to make some extra money, and we decided that we would use some of it to finally replace the love seat o' doom.

Whoot! The boxes have arrived!! Where's my vanilla vodka and disco ball?

Crap, I lost the drill again!

Note the boxes and assorted crapola that has accumulated as I unpack boxes and shift everything else out of the way.

I'm pretty tired and my back is hurting by this point.

Done!

I love the hidden storage in the ottoman and under each seat cushion!

*Yawns* I'm pretty tired after putting everything together. I'll be lounging on the couch watching Kolchak: The Night Stalker if anybody needs me.

Gagstastic emails part XII- Department of Health/ Swine Flu update

2009-09-04T08:01:00.002-05:00

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu.............

Ignore it.

It's just Spam.

*sighs* Just like this stupid email.

This is important information, please pass along to everyone!

It is too bad that the government is making this out to be more than it should but there are some symptoms that you should be aware of.

See the caution below.

Scary! If you wake up looking like this,

don't go to work or school, my gosh, don't go anywhere!

We hope you recover and soon.

*sighs deeply*

I know I've said it before, but I really don't get the point of 99.9% of forwarded emails. They are either:

1) Just plain stupid or mildly amusing at best.

2) Sparkly and filled with fake sentiment in an attempt to make the recipient feel guilty about not being absolutely delighted to receive the horrid thing.

3) Idiotic urban legends and or outright lies about whatever group, product, individual, etc... you currently dislike or have been instructed to dislike by the various people or institutions in your life. These emails can usually be disproved in a matter of minutes by the average ten year old with an internet connection.

Forwarding ridiculous emails as a way to "keep in touch" is like taking an old birthday card you received, scratching out the name of the original sender and writing in your own, cramming it inside a envelope that is too small, and then not putting enough postage on the envelope so the new recipient has to pay the mail carrier to receive it. As my late grandmother would say, it's beyond tacky!

Sincerely,

Hairball T. Hairball

Road Trip Part 3

2009-09-01T16:00:00.001-05:00

Somewhere between Tatum and Roswell.

After we left Tatum, we cruised over to Roswell and had lunch at a little hole in the wall place called the Cowboy Cafe. Their sign said they had homemade pie and they had some veggies growing in their flowerbed. The people in the booth behind us were from Oklahoma, so they were getting the full tourist treatment. The owner made up some fried green tomatoes and other goodies for them to sample while suggesting places in the area they should visit. *grins* I had a green chile cheeseburger and Mr. Hairball had the ginormous Cowboy burger. For dessert we had some cherry pie. Most tasty!

Then we piled back in the car and stopped at the UFO museum.

Mr. Hairball contemplates a display.

Roswell is at 3573 feet, and this is where I usually start feeling a little sleepy. Traveling to New Mexico means that I don't feel my best for about five days as my body starts adapting to the drier climate and higher elevation. Drinking lots of water, taking some sinus meds, and eating lots of spicy food is what helps me.

This is about an hour west of Roswell. I am definitely yawning at this point!

Mr. Hairball took these two shots when he went with his grandmother to see where her childhood home used to be. I believe this is about 6000 feet. I didn't go with them as it was early in the week, and I was having enough trouble staying awake down in the valley!

During our time in Mr. Hairball's hometown, we basically just go from from house to house eating and visiting with all of his relatives. Most of his relatives all live in the same town so there's lots of people to see! My MIL made her wonderful New Mexico style stacked enchiladas, (this recipe looks similar to hers) and we ate until we were stuffed.

Unfortunately, my camera battery died so I don't have shots on the way back home when we reached the highest point (8000 feet) of our trip. We stopped and bought some cherry and raspberry cider in the mountains, and it was 77F in August! It was in the 90s down in the valley when we left Mr. Hairball's family so this was a most pleasant surprise. We joked about finding a way for Mr. Hairball to work in the mountains during the summers.

I'm all rested up and ready for another road trip!

2160.8 miles
15 days

Road Trip Part 2

2009-08-29T00:01:00.003-05:00

On the road again

We stopped and read quite a few historical markers on our trip. I really liked this one about Alex Albright, the sheep rancher. (Click to enlarge)

Next, we spent two days in the city where we met. We visited with a few friends, ate at some of the places we miss from those days, and got some well needed rest. I got us a room through Priceline at the Hawthorn Suites for $40 a night. I was very pleased with this because the going rate for our room started at $85!

We piled back in the car and hit the road again.

Tatum, NM is the home of Westcraft Metal Arts. Wonderful examples of their work can be seen throughout the town.

Here's an example of the street signs in town along highway 380. All of the street signs are unique. Sorry for the blurry bits in the picture, I was shooting from inside the car.

Many businesses in the area have signs from them.

This is the fence in front of Westcraft Metal Arts showing more of their work. (Click to enlarge)

To be continued...

Road Trip Part 1

2009-08-24T12:02:00.001-05:00

Whenever I take a road trip, I think about the people of the past and how amazing they would find it that we can easily drive hundreds of miles in a single day!

The country

The city

Here we are back in the country again on the same day. (It was dark when we arrived so Mr. Hairball actually took this picture later in the week.)

This is Great-Auntie Hairball's house. See the silver gate and the white car behind it? On the night we arrived, they had left that gate open so we could park inside the yard. By the time we arrived, there were several cows in the yard. The cows were very curious about our car and luggage!

The road down the hill from her house. She lives about ten miles away from a small town so it is very dark there at night. Mr. Hairball borrowed a telescope from work and brought it with us on our trip. Unfortunately, there was a full moon while we where there so he was not able to see everything that he had hoped to view.

We also took a brief side trip to see my brother and SIL for a day, but we accidentally left the camera behind at my great-aunt's house. My brother and SIL live in a house built in the 1930's that they have restored. Almost everything inside (except for things like appliances, computers, and TVs) is from the 1930's-1950's or is a very good reproduction from those years. It's fun to walk through their house and see all of their collections from the past!

My brother would really love to buy a 1950's house in his area that has been lovingly maintained. My SIL owned their current house for many years before she met him, and also raised her sons there. She is understandably torn about moving. I am curious to see what they will decide to do about the house issue.

After about a week of visiting with Great-Auntie Hairball, Mama Hairball, and Brother & SIL Hairball, we loaded up and left for our next destination. We happened to drive by a casino on the way and since neither of us had either been in one before, we decided to stop and lose some money before we ate lunch.

My seed money

I lost my two dollars and left. I thought it was depressing in there and Mr. Hairball found it quite boring.

To be continued...

I'm back!!

2009-08-18T08:01:00.003-05:00

I actually got back last week, but I needed some time to rest and get caught up with everything at home.

A few things I learned on this trip:

1) If I had to sleep for the rest of my life in a double bed with Mr. Hairball, I'd either end up divorced or in prison.

2) Luck Be a Lady sounds really good while driving off into the sunset.

3) Cattle are fascinated by auto trunk interiors.

4) You can leave a watermelon in your trunk for four days and it will be okay.

5) If you decide to stop and read all the "hysterical"markers on your route, bring a flashlight for the days you get a late start.

6) The weather in August is amazing at 8,000 feet.

Notice/Retro Music: THM-SRTE

2009-07-27T00:01:00.007-05:00

Just a reminder that I am going to be gone for a couple of weeks. Today is the first day of The Hairball Multi-State Road Trip Extravaganza.

Since I missed Flashback Friday, here's a few songs before I go:

Low Rider by War

Convoy by C.W. McCall

Rockin' Down The Highway by The Doobie Brothers

Ventura Highway by America

On The Road Again by Willie Nelson

Goodbye!! *dabs at eyes and waves*

Food: Fruit Cobbler

2009-07-21T09:35:00.003-05:00

I was looking through my copy of the Household Searchlight Recipe Book from 1938, and I found some recipes written in the back of the book. In going through the handwritten recipes, I found one for a simple fruit cobbler that I decided to try.

My great-aunt's handwriting is a little hard to read, so I'll transcribe it for you. The parts in italics are the additions I made for clarity.

Fruit Cobbler

Light oven. Set at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. In a baking dish, I used an 8x8 pyrex dish put 1/4 pound one stick butter or margarine, and melt in oven. Sift into mixing bowl:

1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
3 tsps baking powder

Pour one cup milk over flour mixture and beat hard. Pour this into the pan with the melted butter, and place 2 cups chopped fruit over the batter. Pour 1 cup sugar you may need to reduce this or even eliminate it completely depending on how sweet your fruit is over fruit, bake one hour at 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

I ended up making a plum cobbler. I plan to use this recipe again with other fruits.

You can tell that I didn't peel the plums. I normally don't peel fruits or vegetables if the peel is edible. Why throw away fiber?

I Really Hate The Weather Channel Right Now

2009-07-15T08:30:00.005-05:00

The heat is really getting to me. I'm seriously considering wrapping myself up in a bed sheet and telling everyone it's a toga. I completely flipped out earlier and yelled a variety of obscenities at the Weather Channel. You know, I understand that some parts of the USA are experiencing cooler than average summer weather and those folks are thrilled about their lower power bills and such, but could you talking heads please turn down the glee a notch?

To the blonde gal in the Hamptons who keeps blathering on about how fabulous the weather is right now in the Hamptons: It's gonna be another scorcher where I am, while other people are really struggling to pay their bills, so your infomercial on the "Joys of The Hamptons" is highly annoying.

Can somebody hand me a guitar?

For those of you on dial-up, it's the scene from Animal House where John Belushi comes downstairs in his toga, hears the love song, and smashes the singer's guitar.

Retro Music: Cruisin' in the Olds...

2009-07-14T08:02:00.001-05:00

My friend Joe of the blog 70s-Child, did a post about 8-Track tapes last Friday. While reading the comments, I remembered the free 8-Track tape that came with the Oldsmobile my parents bought. This is the only song I remembered from that tape, and it's been playing in my head since last Friday. Mr. Hairball is getting very tired of me singing this song. *grins*

For those of you on dial-up who can't do YouTube, here's the lyrics.

Hues Corporation - Rock the Boat

Would you believe that someone is selling what appears to be the same tape on Ebay?

Aunt Barbara

2009-07-10T08:05:00.002-05:00

If I lived in the NYC area, I would love to attend one of Aunt Barbara's Tupperware parties!

Flashback Friday- Potluck Edition

2009-07-10T08:02:00.002-05:00

Just a heads up that my posting is going to continue to be sporadic for the rest of the summer. I had planned to do more posts this week, but I hurt my arm earlier this week and yesterday was the first day I felt like trying to type.

I've also got The Hairball World Tour coming up in a couple of weeks. Okay, "World Tour" is not quite right, lets say The Hairball Multi-State Road Trip Extravaganza. According to Mapquest, it looks like it will be about 1800 miles (2,896.82 kilometers) round trip. Reserve your tickets now! *grins*

Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell- Ain't no Mountain High Enough

The 5th Dimension - Wedding Bell Blues

Gladys Knight & The Pips- Midnight Train To Georgia

Golden Earring - Radar Love

Loverboy- Working For The Weekend

Rick Springfield- Jessie's Girl

Have a good weekend everyone!

And You Thought Your Family Was Eight Kinds Of Crazy...

2009-07-02T12:38:00.007-05:00

Dear Marney,

I will be unable to attend your lovely holiday dinner. ~~I would rather eat slobbery Cheetos with a rabid dog than have dinner with you.~~

Please reassign my dishes to another ~~sucker~~ guest.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

Flashback Friday!

2009-05-22T08:01:00.002-05:00

A few of the films from the 1940's that I enjoy watching.

Another one I enjoy is Since You Went Away, which I can't find a trailer for right now. I'll warn you that it is a real tearjerker!

On a personal note, this is going to be my last post for a while. I really do appreciate all of you who read and comment on my blog.

Flashback Friday!

2009-05-15T08:01:00.005-05:00

Just a few of the comedies from the 1950's that I enjoy.

Hairballs On The Carpet Of Life

Fancy Pants-1950

www.vtubetools.com

Hairballs On The Carpet Of Life

The Long, Long Trailer-1954

www.vtubetools.com

Hairballs On The Carpet Of Life

The Trouble With Harry-1955

www.vtubetools.com

Hairballs On The Carpet Of Life

Auntie Mame-1958

www.vtubetools.com

Hairballs On The Carpet Of Life

Some Like It Hot-1959

www.vtubetools.com

Have a good weekend everyone!

Question about the Mustard and Black Pepper Brisket Recipe

2009-05-14T16:53:00.007-05:00

Jim from Cool Stuff for Dads asks:

This looks very good. In terms of the potatoes and/or vegetables, could they be cooked as well in the crockpot?

The booklet that came with my my crockpot says to place your veggies on the bottom of the crock and put the meat on top to make sure the vegetables cook through.

I personally never do this when I make beef brisket in the crockpot, because I usually buy the whole untrimmed brisket and don't trim the fat before cooking. I do cut the raw brisket up into more manageable 2-4 pound portions before freezing. Because of this, I have a nice big pool of fat when I finish and any veggies would be little fat bombs!

I did break with tradition this time and bought a partially trimmed brisket, but I still had plenty of fat at the bottom of the crock.

I know they sell a super trimmed version but I have never bought one so I don't know anything about cooking those. Anybody ever cooked one of those ( or a heavily trimmed packer cut one) in a crockpot with veggies on the bottom? Were you happy with the results. I've always been afraid it would be too dry.

Mustard and Black Pepper Brisket

2009-05-13T21:49:00.007-05:00

I was trying to figure out a new recipe for brisket cooked in the crockpot earlier this week.

I pulled some brisket out of the freezer and let it defrost overnight. Then I brushed it on both sides with some brown mustard, and mixed some kosher salt and cracked black pepper together and patted that mixture over the mustard.

Then I placed it in the crockpot and cooked it on high for four hours. I would have done it on low, but I didn't get it in the crockpot early enough.

Results:

I used too much salt, but the brisket was moist and the mustard and pepper flavor was very nice. I scraped off the remaining salt, pepper and mustard mixture, and that did help with the saltiness. I will try this again and cut back on the salt by about 50%.

The Potluck Dinner

2009-05-13T08:01:00.004-05:00

Mr. Hairball's workplace is in the midst of a flurry of social activities. We attended a potluck dinner last weekend, will be having dinner with some of his colleagues at a restaurant tonight, and another potluck dinner is scheduled for Friday. I made a batch of brownies to take to the potluck dinner last weekend, and I will do the same on Friday.

Last weekend, his workplace was providing some of the food, and a group of us was instructed to bring a salad, side dish or dessert item. His employer would be providing the hamburgers, hot dogs, drinks, condiments, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, plates, and disposable flatware.

We showed up with a quadruple batch of brownies, placed them on the end of the table, and immediately started visiting with the people we knew. Some of his co-workers were unable to attend, some came alone or with their SO, and others brought their entire family along. There were a total of sixteen of us if you include the SOs and families in the "bring something" group.

After the line calmed down a bit, I grabbed a plate and got in line. As I was waiting, I scanned the table to see what was there so I could decide what to get. It was then that I realized that my brownies were the only item on the entire table that was homemade. I looked again as surely I must be missing something. I looked carefully between the hamburgers, hot dogs, condiments, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions, tubs of potato salad, bags of chips, various prepackaged dips and salads, cartons of ice cream, and cans of soda. Nothing.

I'm used to being in the minority at potlucks because I'm one of the few people that brings something homemade. This time however, was the first time that I was the only one who brought something homemade. I've felt sad about this since it happened and see it as a sign of things to come. I guess Erma Bombeck's jokes about installing vending machines in her kitchen are not that far from reality for a lot of people.

I used to know someone who would talk about how they just loved dish X that relative Z made for their family. I asked them once if they had asked relative Z to show them how to prepare it for the inevitable day that relative Z passes on. I was told there's no point in trying to learn as it will never be like what relative Z makes. Relative Z is probably dead by now. I guess they just sit around and reminisce about the lovely holiday meals of the past since nobody alive can duplicate it. *rolls eyes*

Other families have recipes that were lovingly passed down for generations, but are now crumbling in a box unused and unloved because everybody that is physically able to cook is "just too busy" and the junk at the grocery store is "almost as good" if you pile on the Cool-Whip. *whimper*

Sometimes, I really do feel like a freak of nature.

Gagstastic emails part XI- Friends Day / Creepy!

2009-05-12T09:00:00.003-05:00

We are having a two for one sale on gagtastic emails! Whoot!

If have you forwarded me a gagtastic email and are wondering why it hasn't shown up yet, please note that I have several unfinished ones in my draft folder. Sometimes I get stuck and have to wait for inspiration or perspiration to strike.

It's "friends Day" send this to all your good friends.

Shouldn't the word 'friends' be capitalized ?

Even me, if I am one of them.

You're not.

See how many you get back.

Zero, because I don't spam people with stupid crap.

If you get more than 3, you are really a lovable person

I'm really not interested in being popular with the sisterchicks but thanks anyway!

.................... I am waiting

I am sitting !

_________________________________________________
I had nothing to do with the random capitalization. It came that way.

Creepy!!

Ok guys, this truly is freaky, the Phone literally rang as soon as I read The last word of this email!!!!!

*screams* The calls are coming from inside the house!!!

I am taking the bait -
What do I have to lose right?

Um, your pride?

Hope it works!

Hope you get that brain transplant!

Supposedly The Phone Will Ring
Right After You Do This.
Just read the little stories and
Think of a wish as you scroll all
The way to the bottom. There is
A message there - then make your
Wish.

*rolls eyes*

No attachment on this one.

Your attachment to sanity snapped a long time ago.

Stories

Let's all gather by the fire and pretend it's dark and stormy night.

I'm 13 years old, and I wished
That my dad would come home from
The army, because he'd been having
Problems with his heart and right
Leg. It was 2:53 p .m.. When I made
My wish. At 3: 07 PM. (14 minutes
Later), the doorbell rang, and
There my Dad was, luggage and all!!

Shouldn't your Dad have appeared in a big puff of smoke seconds after you finished your wish? I've watched I Dream of Jeannie and that's how it's supposed to work!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
Having trouble in my job and on the
Verge of quitting. I made a simple
Wish that my boss would get a new
Job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
There was an announcement that he
Was promoted and was leaving for
Another city. Believe me...this
Really works!!!

I've never heard of anybody getting a promotion and moving to another city! The magical wish granting email is true!!

Katie, I read about you in the Death Poem email. If someone invites you to a masquerade ball, just stay home, okay?

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
Of age. I had always been single
And had been hoping to get into a
Nice, loving relationship for many
Years. While kind of daydreaming(and right a after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would Finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday.. At 9:55 AM
A FedEx delivery man came into my
Office. He was cute, polite and
Could not stop smiling at me. He
Started coming back almost everyday(even without packages) and asked me Out a week later .
We married 6 Months later and now have been
Happily married for 2 years.

Ann, he does that to all the women on his route. You'll be starting in a movie soon on the crying women channel with all his other wives.

What a great email it was!!

It must not have had a bunch of flashy, sparkly crap!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
While you do, think of a wish.

Oh I wish you had a brain...

Make your wish when you have completed
Scrolling.

Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Rawhide!

Whatever age you are, is the
Number of minutes it will take for your
Wish to come true. Ex.you are 25 years
Old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
To come true).

I'm 40 so I have to wait 40 minutes. Gee, thanks magical wish granting email for helping me out there! As Barbie once said, math is hard!!

However, if you don't send this to
People in 5 minutes, you will have bad
Luck for years!!

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Go for it!!!

Bite me!

SCROLL DOWN!!!!

Scroll on down, scroll on down the road
Come on, scroll on down, scroll on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on, scroll on down, scroll on down down the road

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STOP!!!
Congratulations!!! Your wish will
Now come true in your age minutes.

Age minutes? That sounds like something they would say on those commercials for beauty products where they tell you how awful you look and how their product can solve all your problems.

Your age minutes will be eliminated if you use Expen$ive Crap morning and night while eating a sensible dinner and singing the The Star Spangled Banner. Please ask your doctor if it's safe for you to take the maroon and aqua pill and consume five gallons of water recommended daily by the Expen$ive Crap scientists in the beautiful Swiss Alps.

If Expen$ive Crap can make a troll living under a bridge look good, there's still hope for you!

Now follow this carefully....it
Can be very rewarding!!!!

I seriously doubt that.

If you send this to 10 more
People, other than the 5 that you
Already have to send to, something
Major that you've been wanting
Will happen.

You mean UPS will bring my package today? Whoot!

Message: This is scary!

Should I hide behind the couch?

The phone will ring right after
You do this

*ring ring* This is your magical wish granting email. Your wish was just stupid, so I won't be granting it. Now send this onto to every single person in the universe or else!

I think the most disturbing thing about this email was the signature at the bottom was from an elementary school teacher.

Have you called her?

2009-05-10T00:01:00.004-05:00

Sorry about the condition of the first two pictures. The pamphlet is part of the stuff that belonged to my late grandmother and none of her old cookbooks and papers were stored properly.

Do you think we should tell him that she's right behind him? Perhaps he knows that already since the two phone receivers are connected by the same cord.

So you haven't bought a gift yet for your mother? How about a snazzy new phone? ( Click to enlarge to read about phone technology in 1975!)

Here's a great gift to go along with her new "telephone answering set". *laughs* You're going to have the rap song stuck in your head like I do!

These "reach out" commercials always got to me. I can remember watching TV with Mama Hairball and we'd look at each other and both be crying when these came on. *sniff*

Happy Mother's Day to all of my readers who are mothers!
Whoot Shimmy Shimmy Whoot!

The Lunch Mom

2009-05-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

Please click on each scan to enlarge.

Flashback Friday!-Night Gallery

2009-05-08T08:01:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite shows from the 70's is Night Gallery. I currently own the first two seasons and I am looking forward to buying the third when it is released. Seeing these shows on DVD is real a treat after watching some of the episodes that were altered for syndication.

Below are a few of my favorite episodes. I apologize for the length of these. If you are interested in watching these, you might bookmark this page of my blog so that you can watch at your own convenience.

I'm also a big fan of the pilot movie, and my favorite segment from that is The Cemetery. Unfortunately, I have been unable to locate a video of this online that doesn't have some kind of audio problem. Hulu doesn't have the pilot in their collection of Night Gallery episodes.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Food posts, weather, etc...

2009-05-07T18:00:00.001-05:00

I just looked over my recent posts and realized that I have not done any food posts this week. I haven't really cooked all that much lately. I've kinda been in a funk. Maybe it's the heat. The local weatherdude is predicting that Friday's high will be 102F/39C. I am going to try and get my grocery shopping and errands done before noon tomorrow to escape the worst of it.

I did make a pork roast earlier in the week, but I think the recipe needs more work before I do a post about it. Mr. Hairball for the third week in a row, asked me to make him some brownies. I think he's in a rut or something! Anyway, I used some of that Hershey's special dark cocoa that Kelly of Evil Shenanigans recommends, and I was very pleased with the results. I also made some baked mac and cheese, but I've already blogged about that too. Perhaps next week will be better in terms of food posts!

Flashback Friday is already set up in the queue for a trip back to the 70's.

See you then!

Gagstastic emails part X- The Dirty Dozen

2009-05-07T08:01:00.001-05:00

I am supposed to pick 12 women (who have touched my life) and whom I think would want to participate.

I don't really want to participate but thanks for asking!

I think that if this group of women were ever to be in a room together, there is nothing that would be impossible. I hope I chose the right twelve.

*Hairball ducks so the big ball of guilt thrown her way will not stick* Trust me, some things would still be impossible. You really shouldn't have included me in your twelve as I'm a lousy sisterchick disciple.

My hugs, love, gestures and communications hopefully remind you how special that you are. Please send this back to me.

If I am so very special, then you already know that and don't need a stupid email sent back to you as proof of my friendship.

Remember to make a wish before you read the prayer.

Huh? Generally people who strongly believe in the power of prayer are not so big on wishes.

That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached.

That's a relief!

Just send this to twelve people and let me know what happens on the fourth day.

It seems I spoke too soon!

Sorry you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please.

Too late!

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. Did you make a wish yet?

I'm confused. Are we praying or wishing for something to happen?

If you don't make a wish, it won't come true. This is your last chance to make a wish!

Okay, so we are wishing now?

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.'

That's very nice but, I'm still not spamming others with it.

Now, send this to 12 women within the next 5 minutes.

It took me longer than that to write this up. I'm living dangerously!

And remember to send this back. I count as 1...you'll see why.

You're going to email me soon about teaching you how to "forward things properly" when nothing happens, right? Look, the joke is that some people keep falling for this.

Suggestion: copy and paste rather than forwarding it.

But that's no fun! If you cut and paste this, future recipients won't be able to see all the email addresses of past recipients since you refuse to use Bcc when doing group emails! Oh, and the insightful comments! Reading inane things like " I sure hope this works" or "What do I have to lose?" is the best part of getting these emails!

Have a wonderful day!!!

I am. It's a real nice sisterchick-free kinda day in the neighborhood!

Gagstastic emails part IX- The Eye Test

2009-05-06T08:01:00.001-05:00

I found them all and have to admit that they weren't all that easy.

I can't believe you are stupid enough to admit in public that you wasted time obeying the dictates of a forwarded email!

I also made my wishes - can't wait to see if they come true.

Uh, you might want to sit down for this one. If your wish comes true, it is merely a coincidence. Magical wish granting emails don't exist. What you need is this.

you are going to need glasses after this..............

How sweet! You send me something that you believe will negatively affect my vision for the rest of my life. Now that's what true friendship is all about!

The Eye Test
Can you find the B
(there are 2 B's) DON'T skip or your wish won't come True...

*rolls eyes*

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I had a car that sounded like that years ago! You'd turn the key and it would go RRRRRRRR and you'd pump the gas and hope it would start. It was burgundy except for the drivers side door which was white. It was kinda beat-up and everybody on the road gave me a wide berth for some reason. *shrugs*

Once you've found the B

If the B stands for buffoon, I know exactly where you are.

Find the 1

The one who won't send me these stupid emails?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1..................

I've already found the one who annoys the hell outta me and that person is you.

Find the 6

Is it lost?

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6...

Are you that naive? You hid a six in a group of nines? Were you one of those women who were talking about "teabagging" the White House last month and didn't understand why all the younger people were snickering?

Find the N (it's hard!!)

I'm not going there after the last one.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Find the six in the gaggle of nines and now a plethora of M's.
*falls over laughing*

Once you've found the N..

Okay, I'm going there. N is for Nooner.

Find the Q....

Q is for Quickie.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Let's recap. You hid a six in a group of nines, then an N in a sea of M's, and now a Q in a group of O's. You must be the quiet type, huh?

Make 2 wishes!

I hope you grow chin hairs that you can't see well enough to pluck and your computer catches on fire if you ever send another one of these emails.

OK, NOW THAT U MADE A WISH, IT WILL COME TRUE.....
ALL U HAVE 2 DO IS FORWARD TO 3 PEOPLE BUT IF YOU FORWARD TO MORE IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER!!!

As badly as I would like to believe that a magical email could set your computer on fire and leave you with a hairy chin, I believe there's a special section of Hell reserved just for those who spam others with chain emails.

Thoughts on Sandra Lee's new show and old show

2009-05-05T18:30:00.000-05:00

Quick explanation for my non-Shrike readers who don't watch Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. First up, here's a link to some explanations of terms I'll be using. Shrikes are like Joel/Mike and the 'bots, and SHCWSL is the movie.

Snads new program, Money Saving Meals (or Money Sucking Meals as I refer to it) will be premiering this Sunday. Right now, it seems that no new episodes of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee are planned. I feel kinda sad about this development. After I discovered the folks at TWoP, SHCWSL brought much laughter INto my life. Thanks to all of my Shrike buddies for the years of laughter you have given me.

I have high hopes that Money Sucking Meals will be just as unintentionally hilarious as SHCWSL. Don't let us down Snads. Shrikes everywhere are counting on you to deliver!

Let's look back at some of my favorite SHCWSL clips.

New crap that you may find amusing...

2009-05-03T06:52:00.008-05:00

In case you haven't noticed, I have added LinkWithin to my blog. If you look at the end of each post you will now see: "You might like these stories" with links and sometimes pictures that correlate to three earlier posts. LinkWithin tries to pull out content that it believes is relevant to the post you are reading.

Let's have a little fun and see what results pop up if I write something crazy and don't assign any labels to this post for the time being.

Sandra Lee's monkey ate my crockpot, stole my wallet, drank all my vanella vodka, and tablescaped my cats.

Edited to add: Now I'm going to add some labels that don't correlate to this post to see what happens.

Edited to add: From my brief experiment, it seems that LinkWithin bases its results on the post and not on any labels you may assign to that post. I'm now going to fix the labels I've assigned so that they correlate to this post.

Feedjit hates me!

2009-05-02T21:00:00.006-05:00

Dear Feedjit,

How come the words I used in my Google search are not showing up on another blog's Feedjit? Do you know how long it took me to come up with:

Sandra Lee got my monkey pregnant.
Sandra Lee's monkey makes f'ntastic tablescapes.
My monkey cooks better than Sandra Lee.
My dog cooks better than Sandra Lee.

etc, etc, etc...

In order to get a certain blog to come up in the search results?!?

Sincerely,

Hairball T. Hairball
Big Beaver, PA

Flashback Friday!

2009-05-01T08:01:00.016-05:00

I had heard of The Thin Man before, but until a couple of years ago, I had never seen any of the movies. Mr. Hairball and I thoroughly enjoyed these movies! I'd be very surprised if Sandra Lee is not a fan as Nick and Nora just love their cocktail time. Whoot!