Feedjit Foolishness II

I was browsing over my Feedjit results and discovered a couple that I'd like to share with you. I'm always very interested in the search terms that bring people over to HOTCOL. I'll warn you that part of today's edition is possibly NSFW.







SPOILER SPACE







Warminster, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life" by searching for dessert hairball recipe.

This had me really puzzled and a bit queasy at first, but I found a Halloween recipe for a Hairball Salad With Saliva Dressing . I'm going to assume that this person had an actual dessert in mind and will not be chowing down on what the cat coughed up.

Sunnyvale, California arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life: Gagstastic emails part V" by searching for wife hairball vagina.

Wow! I mean, um... gee....


*stares at wall and blinks rapidly*


Um, did you actually have sex ed, or are you just making it up as you go along?


*stares at wall and blinks rapidly again*


So...um... do you insert them?


Do you tape them on like some bizarre version of a merkin?


Please tell me that your wife doesn't pretend to give birth to them?


Just how drunk or high does one have to be to get to a place where this sounds like a good thing to do?


You know, I've cleaned up my fair share of hairballs and I can honestly say that I've never once looked at one and thought...

Broken Beater Strikes Again

Dear KitchenAid,

I really hate the "turbo" beaters you are using on your hand mixers. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the last time and replaced the broken beaters, but this is just ridiculous.




I'm an avid home baker, and if your beaters can't "Mix Cookie Dough Easily", there is no reason for me to have a KitchenAid hand mixer.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

Flashback Friday!

Here's a few mysteries that I recently added to my DVD collection. There's a link under each movie to its IMDB page with pictures and other information about each film.


Murder On The Orient Express- 1974


Murder By Death-1976


Death On The Nile-1978


Evil Under The Sun-1982




Have a good weekend!!

Gagtastic email part XIII- The Little Things

If you are in mourning right now, you better skip this one.

____________________________________________

The ' L I T T L E ' Things~



As you might remember, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.



Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.



One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.



One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.



One of them
Missed his bus.



One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.



One's
Car wouldn't start.



One couldn't
Get a taxi.



The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.



He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..




Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be
At this very moment..



Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,



You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.



May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.



Pass this on to someone else, if you'd like. There is NO LUCK attached.
If you delete this, it's okay: God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail!!
(that's the cool part)



A M E N


*sighs and shakes head*

The next time you have a personal tragedy in your life, I'm going to take the high road and offer you my condolences. You see, most people consider it rude to tell a person that if God liked you or your loved one(s) a little better, he would have prevented your personal tragedy.


PS: I thought we had this all settled after you sent that last email.

Couch Potato

Back when I was a college student, I bought a faux leather love seat when a friend and I decided to rent a little house near campus. After twenty years and numerous moves, that poor love seat was in pretty sad shape. Mr. Hairball and I had been planning to replace it for several years, but every time we saved up enough money for a new couch, something would happen that required our "couch money". This summer, Mr. Hairball was offered an opportunity to make some extra money, and we decided that we would use some of it to finally replace the love seat o' doom.


Whoot! The boxes have arrived!! Where's my vanilla vodka and disco ball?


Crap, I lost the drill again!


Note the boxes and assorted crapola that has accumulated as I unpack boxes and shift everything else out of the way.

I'm pretty tired and my back is hurting by this point.

Done!


I love the hidden storage in the ottoman and under each seat cushion!

*Yawns* I'm pretty tired after putting everything together. I'll be lounging on the couch watching Kolchak: The Night Stalker if anybody needs me.

Gagstastic emails part XII- Department of Health/ Swine Flu update

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu.............




Ignore it.




It's just Spam.



*sighs* Just like this stupid email.





This is important information, please pass along to everyone!


It is too bad that the government is making this out to be more than it should but there are some symptoms that you should be aware of.



See the caution below.



Scary! If you wake up looking like this,





don't go to work or school, my gosh, don't go anywhere!


We hope you recover and soon.


*sighs deeply*


I know I've said it before, but I really don't get the point of 99.9% of forwarded emails. They are either:


1) Just plain stupid or mildly amusing at best.



2) Sparkly and filled with fake sentiment in an attempt to make the recipient feel guilty about not being absolutely delighted to receive the horrid thing.



3) Idiotic urban legends and or outright lies about whatever group, product, individual, etc... you currently dislike or have been instructed to dislike by the various people or institutions in your life. These emails can usually be disproved in a matter of minutes by the average ten year old with an internet connection.


Forwarding ridiculous emails as a way to "keep in touch" is like taking an old birthday card you received, scratching out the name of the original sender and writing in your own, cramming it inside a envelope that is too small, and then not putting enough postage on the envelope so the new recipient has to pay the mail carrier to receive it. As my late grandmother would say, it's beyond tacky!


Sincerely,

Hairball T. Hairball

Road Trip Part 3

Somewhere between Tatum and Roswell.

After we left Tatum, we cruised over to Roswell and had lunch at a little hole in the wall place called the Cowboy Cafe. Their sign said they had homemade pie and they had some veggies growing in their flowerbed. The people in the booth behind us were from Oklahoma, so they were getting the full tourist treatment. The owner made up some fried green tomatoes and other goodies for them to sample while suggesting places in the area they should visit. *grins* I had a green chile cheeseburger and Mr. Hairball had the ginormous Cowboy burger. For dessert we had some cherry pie. Most tasty!

Then we piled back in the car and stopped at the UFO museum.



Mr. Hairball contemplates a display.


Roswell is at 3573 feet, and this is where I usually start feeling a little sleepy. Traveling to New Mexico means that I don't feel my best for about five days as my body starts adapting to the drier climate and higher elevation. Drinking lots of water, taking some sinus meds, and eating lots of spicy food is what helps me.


This is about an hour west of Roswell. I am definitely yawning at this point!







Mr. Hairball took these two shots when he went with his grandmother to see where her childhood home used to be. I believe this is about 6000 feet. I didn't go with them as it was early in the week, and I was having enough trouble staying awake down in the valley!

During our time in Mr. Hairball's hometown, we basically just go from from house to house eating and visiting with all of his relatives. Most of his relatives all live in the same town so there's lots of people to see! My MIL made her wonderful New Mexico style stacked enchiladas, (this recipe looks similar to hers) and we ate until we were stuffed.

Unfortunately, my camera battery died so I don't have shots on the way back home when we reached the highest point (8000 feet) of our trip. We stopped and bought some cherry and raspberry cider in the mountains, and it was 77F in August! It was in the 90s down in the valley when we left Mr. Hairball's family so this was a most pleasant surprise. We joked about finding a way for Mr. Hairball to work in the mountains during the summers.

I'm all rested up and ready for another road trip!

2160.8 miles
15 days

Road Trip Part 2

On the road again



We stopped and read quite a few historical markers on our trip. I really liked this one about Alex Albright, the sheep rancher. (Click to enlarge)

Next, we spent two days in the city where we met. We visited with a few friends, ate at some of the places we miss from those days, and got some well needed rest. I got us a room through Priceline at the Hawthorn Suites for $40 a night. I was very pleased with this because the going rate for our room started at $85!



We piled back in the car and hit the road again.

Tatum, NM is the home of Westcraft Metal Arts. Wonderful examples of their work can be seen throughout the town.



Here's an example of the street signs in town along highway 380. All of the street signs are unique. Sorry for the blurry bits in the picture, I was shooting from inside the car.



Many businesses in the area have signs from them.




This is the fence in front of Westcraft Metal Arts showing more of their work. (Click to enlarge)


To be continued...

Road Trip Part 1

Whenever I take a road trip, I think about the people of the past and how amazing they would find it that we can easily drive hundreds of miles in a single day!


The country


The city


Here we are back in the country again on the same day. (It was dark when we arrived so Mr. Hairball actually took this picture later in the week.)

This is Great-Auntie Hairball's house. See the silver gate and the white car behind it? On the night we arrived, they had left that gate open so we could park inside the yard. By the time we arrived, there were several cows in the yard. The cows were very curious about our car and luggage!



The road down the hill from her house. She lives about ten miles away from a small town so it is very dark there at night. Mr. Hairball borrowed a telescope from work and brought it with us on our trip. Unfortunately, there was a full moon while we where there so he was not able to see everything that he had hoped to view.

We also took a brief side trip to see my brother and SIL for a day, but we accidentally left the camera behind at my great-aunt's house. My brother and SIL live in a house built in the 1930's that they have restored. Almost everything inside (except for things like appliances, computers, and TVs) is from the 1930's-1950's or is a very good reproduction from those years. It's fun to walk through their house and see all of their collections from the past!

My brother would really love to buy a 1950's house in his area that has been lovingly maintained. My SIL owned their current house for many years before she met him, and also raised her sons there. She is understandably torn about moving. I am curious to see what they will decide to do about the house issue.


After about a week of visiting with Great-Auntie Hairball, Mama Hairball, and Brother & SIL Hairball, we loaded up and left for our next destination. We happened to drive by a casino on the way and since neither of us had either been in one before, we decided to stop and lose some money before we ate lunch.

My seed money

I lost my two dollars and left. I thought it was depressing in there and Mr. Hairball found it quite boring.

To be continued...

I'm back!!

I actually got back last week, but I needed some time to rest and get caught up with everything at home.


A few things I learned on this trip:


1) If I had to sleep for the rest of my life in a double bed with Mr. Hairball, I'd either end up divorced or in prison.



2) Luck Be a Lady sounds really good while driving off into the sunset.





3) Cattle are fascinated by auto trunk interiors.



4) You can leave a watermelon in your trunk for four days and it will be okay.


5) If you decide to stop and read all the "hysterical"markers on your route, bring a flashlight for the days you get a late start.


6) The weather in August is amazing at 8,000 feet.