Broken Beater Strikes Again

Dear KitchenAid,

I really hate the "turbo" beaters you are using on your hand mixers. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the last time and replaced the broken beaters, but this is just ridiculous.




I'm an avid home baker, and if your beaters can't "Mix Cookie Dough Easily", there is no reason for me to have a KitchenAid hand mixer.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

Flashback Friday!

Here's a few mysteries that I recently added to my DVD collection. There's a link under each movie to its IMDB page with pictures and other information about each film.


Murder On The Orient Express- 1974


Murder By Death-1976


Death On The Nile-1978


Evil Under The Sun-1982




Have a good weekend!!

Gagtastic email part XIII- The Little Things

If you are in mourning right now, you better skip this one.

____________________________________________

The ' L I T T L E ' Things~



As you might remember, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.



Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.



One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.



One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.



One of them
Missed his bus.



One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.



One's
Car wouldn't start.



One couldn't
Get a taxi.



The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.



He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..




Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be
At this very moment..



Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,



You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.



May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.



Pass this on to someone else, if you'd like. There is NO LUCK attached.
If you delete this, it's okay: God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail!!
(that's the cool part)



A M E N


*sighs and shakes head*

The next time you have a personal tragedy in your life, I'm going to take the high road and offer you my condolences. You see, most people consider it rude to tell a person that if God liked you or your loved one(s) a little better, he would have prevented your personal tragedy.


PS: I thought we had this all settled after you sent that last email.

Couch Potato

Back when I was a college student, I bought a faux leather love seat when a friend and I decided to rent a little house near campus. After twenty years and numerous moves, that poor love seat was in pretty sad shape. Mr. Hairball and I had been planning to replace it for several years, but every time we saved up enough money for a new couch, something would happen that required our "couch money". This summer, Mr. Hairball was offered an opportunity to make some extra money, and we decided that we would use some of it to finally replace the love seat o' doom.


Whoot! The boxes have arrived!! Where's my vanilla vodka and disco ball?


Crap, I lost the drill again!


Note the boxes and assorted crapola that has accumulated as I unpack boxes and shift everything else out of the way.

I'm pretty tired and my back is hurting by this point.

Done!


I love the hidden storage in the ottoman and under each seat cushion!

*Yawns* I'm pretty tired after putting everything together. I'll be lounging on the couch watching Kolchak: The Night Stalker if anybody needs me.

Gagstastic emails part XII- Department of Health/ Swine Flu update

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu.............




Ignore it.




It's just Spam.



*sighs* Just like this stupid email.





This is important information, please pass along to everyone!


It is too bad that the government is making this out to be more than it should but there are some symptoms that you should be aware of.



See the caution below.



Scary! If you wake up looking like this,





don't go to work or school, my gosh, don't go anywhere!


We hope you recover and soon.


*sighs deeply*


I know I've said it before, but I really don't get the point of 99.9% of forwarded emails. They are either:


1) Just plain stupid or mildly amusing at best.



2) Sparkly and filled with fake sentiment in an attempt to make the recipient feel guilty about not being absolutely delighted to receive the horrid thing.



3) Idiotic urban legends and or outright lies about whatever group, product, individual, etc... you currently dislike or have been instructed to dislike by the various people or institutions in your life. These emails can usually be disproved in a matter of minutes by the average ten year old with an internet connection.


Forwarding ridiculous emails as a way to "keep in touch" is like taking an old birthday card you received, scratching out the name of the original sender and writing in your own, cramming it inside a envelope that is too small, and then not putting enough postage on the envelope so the new recipient has to pay the mail carrier to receive it. As my late grandmother would say, it's beyond tacky!


Sincerely,

Hairball T. Hairball

Road Trip Part 3

Somewhere between Tatum and Roswell.

After we left Tatum, we cruised over to Roswell and had lunch at a little hole in the wall place called the Cowboy Cafe. Their sign said they had homemade pie and they had some veggies growing in their flowerbed. The people in the booth behind us were from Oklahoma, so they were getting the full tourist treatment. The owner made up some fried green tomatoes and other goodies for them to sample while suggesting places in the area they should visit. *grins* I had a green chile cheeseburger and Mr. Hairball had the ginormous Cowboy burger. For dessert we had some cherry pie. Most tasty!

Then we piled back in the car and stopped at the UFO museum.



Mr. Hairball contemplates a display.


Roswell is at 3573 feet, and this is where I usually start feeling a little sleepy. Traveling to New Mexico means that I don't feel my best for about five days as my body starts adapting to the drier climate and higher elevation. Drinking lots of water, taking some sinus meds, and eating lots of spicy food is what helps me.


This is about an hour west of Roswell. I am definitely yawning at this point!







Mr. Hairball took these two shots when he went with his grandmother to see where her childhood home used to be. I believe this is about 6000 feet. I didn't go with them as it was early in the week, and I was having enough trouble staying awake down in the valley!

During our time in Mr. Hairball's hometown, we basically just go from from house to house eating and visiting with all of his relatives. Most of his relatives all live in the same town so there's lots of people to see! My MIL made her wonderful New Mexico style stacked enchiladas, (this recipe looks similar to hers) and we ate until we were stuffed.

Unfortunately, my camera battery died so I don't have shots on the way back home when we reached the highest point (8000 feet) of our trip. We stopped and bought some cherry and raspberry cider in the mountains, and it was 77F in August! It was in the 90s down in the valley when we left Mr. Hairball's family so this was a most pleasant surprise. We joked about finding a way for Mr. Hairball to work in the mountains during the summers.

I'm all rested up and ready for another road trip!

2160.8 miles
15 days