"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Santa's Revenge

I must still be on the 'good' list, as I didn't receive one of these for Christmas.



For my readers on dial-up, it's a Snuggie made out of a ginormous ShamWow. Because it's so absorbent, you'll never have to leave your couch again. Eww!

PS: In attempting to be clever, I lost some stuff while updating my blog. It will probably be a few days before I track everything down again so I can replace it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Christmas Day

For Christmas Day I have selected A Christmas Carol. Pick whichever version is your favorite as there are quite a few good versions of Dickens' story. As for me, I think I'll watch The Muppet Christmas Carol today.




Here's some of the songs from the movie:


















Merry Christmas everyone!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La...Christmas Eve

Today's movie is It's a Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, Henry Travers, and Beulah Bondi.

Before we watch that trailer, here is a short message from the same year as the movie:





Plot
Jimmy Stewart has put off following his own ambitions his entire life to the betterment of his family and town. He is now contemplating suicide as the solution to a pressing financial problem, and believes that everyone would be better off if he had never been born. An angel, Henry Travers, is dispatched to show Jimmy Stewart the shocking reality of what his family and town would be like without his presence.

Christmas Songs and Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday to my friend Joe of the 70s-child blog!










If you have ever searched for O Holy Night on YouTube, you have likely come across this earsplitting version. Can you say contrast?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 23

Today's movie is White Christmas starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen, Dean Jagger, Mary Wickes, John Brascia, and Anne Whitfield.






Plot:
Bing and Danny are successful entertainers who meet and decide to follow Rosemary and Vera-Ellen to a Vermont resort where the ladies are booked as the singing act. The resort is owned by Dean Jagger who was Bing and Danny's beloved commanding officer when they were in the Army. The resort is struggling since Vermont is having a warm and snow-less season, so Bing comes up with a plan to help Dean Jagger.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 22

Today's movie is The Bishop's Wife starring Cary Grant, Loretta Young, David Niven, Monty Woolley, James Gleason, Gladys Cooper, Elsa Lanchester, Sara Haden, and Karolyn Grimes.

This is another film where the trailer doesn't tell you anything about the movie.




Here's another clip from the movie.




Plot: David Niven desperately wants a new cathedral to be built, but the wealthy benefactress funding the cathedral, has her own ideas about the project. He is so focused on getting the cathedral built, that he is ignoring everything else in his life including his family. Cary Grant is the angel who is dispatched to help David Niven, in answer to his prayer for guidance.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 21

Today's movie is The Bells of St. Mary's starring Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, William Gargan, Ruth Donnelly, Joan Carroll, Martha Sleeper, Rhys Williams, Richard Tyler, and Una O'Connor.


Trailer


Plot: In this sequel to Going My Way, Bing Crosby has been assigned to a parochial school that has seen better days. Ingrid Bergman is the principal, and she and the other Sisters have been praying for a new building to house the school. Bing Crosby thinks it would be best to shut down the old school and send the children elsewhere. Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman are continually butting heads with one another, but both of them help others in their own unique way.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Lunch With Snads!

In honor of the holiday season, I generously invited Snads to come over and have lunch with me. Here's some video from our lunch.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 20

Today's movie is Going My Way starring Bing Crosby, Barry Fitzgerald, Frank McHugh, James Brown, Gene Lockhart, Jean Heather, Porter Hall, Fortunio Bonanova, Eily Malyon, and The Robert Mitchell Boy Choir.




Plot: Bing Crosby is a young priest assigned to a new parish. Barry Fitzgerald is an older priest at the same parish who doesn't understand the ways of this young priest. Can Bing Crosby win over the old priest, and the neighborhood?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 19

Today's movie is The Thin Man starring William Powell, Myrna Loy, Maureen O'Sullivan, Nat Pendleton, Minna Gombell, Porter Hall, Henry Wadsworth, William Henry, Harold Huber, and Cesar Romero.


Now some of you may be scratching your heads at this choice. This movie does take place at Christmas time, and that's a a good enough reason to spend some time with Nick and Nora Charles!

Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.



Plot: A friend of William Powell's has gone missing and is suspected of murder. His daughter, Maureen O'Sullivan, comes to William Powell and asks him to clear her father's name. Plenty of witty banter and cocktails will be served up before the murderer is revealed.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 18

Today's movie is We're No Angels starring Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, Peter Ustinov, Joan Bennett, Basil Rathbone, Leo G. Carroll, John Baer, and Gloria Talbott.

I can't find a trailer, but here is a scene from the movie:



Plot: Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, and Peter Ustinov are three criminals who break out of prison right before Christmas. They plan to steal from a local storekeeper, but then take pity on him and his family after learning more about them. The prisoners hatch a a plan to help the family which involves the use of Peter Ustinov's pet.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 17

Today's movie is The Christmas Box starring Richard Thomas, Maureen O'Hara, Annette O'Toole, Kelsey Mulrooney, Robert Curtis Brown, Michael Ensign, and Greg Brouwer.




I'm sorry, but I'm unable to find a trailer for this movie.




Plot: Richard Thomas, Annette O'Toole, and Kelsey Mulrooney move into Maureen O'Hara's home to provide light housekeeping and yard-work in exchange for room and board. Richard Thomas has dreams of financial success and works crazy hours at his store with his eyes on his future goal. Kelsey and Annette are gradually able to befriend Maureen, but Richard doesn't like her, especially when she keeps asking him the same question - "What was the first gift of Christmas?" Curious about some odd events that happen in the house, Richard finds a box in the attic which helps him better understand Maureen and how the events of her life have shaped her.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 16

Today's feature is The Christmas Card starring Edward Asner, John Newton, Alice Evans, Lois Nettleton, Ben Weber, Peter Jason, Andrew Sanford, Kate Hamon, Glorinda Marie, and Charlie Holliday.




Plot: Alice Evans is a young woman who participates in a local church activity of sending Christmas cards to troops stationed outside the US. John Newton is a soldier who receives her card. John's friend is killed and he is asked to deliver his deceased friend's dog tags to his fiancee, who just happens to live in the same town as Alice. After visiting with his late friend's fiancee, he accidentally bumps into Alice and eventually ends up saving her father's life. Alice's family invites him to Christmas dinner and he soon grows very attached to Alice and her family. Did I mention that Alice already has a steady boyfriend??

Feedjit Foolishness part 7645

As many of you know already, Feedjit can be highly entertaining. Let's take a look at one of the search terms that brought a visitor to my blog:






What?!?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special!!

Today on super crappy holiday themed theatre, we have The Star Wars Holiday Special starring... oh just follow the link and see for yourself. Somebody must have had pictures of these folks naked and cavorting with goats to force them to appear in this nightmare.



Plot: Uh, kids will watch complete and utter crap if you tie it in with a popular movie? Chewbacca's father is named Itchy and his son is named Lumpy, Carrie Fisher sings, there's some red Snuggies, and all manners of weirdness. It's a freakin' trainwreck. Enjoy!

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 15

Today's movie is A Christmas Story starring Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Peter Billingsley, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz, R.D. Robb, Tedde Moore, Yano Anaya, and Zack Ward.



Plot: Peter Billingsley has his heart set on getting a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas even though every adult including Santa, tells him that "You'll shoot your eye out!" Will Santa relent and give Peter his treasured BB gun?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 14

Today we have Home Alone starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Roberts Blossom, Catherine O'Hara, Angela Goethals, Devin Ratray, Gerry Bamman, Hillary Wolf, and John Candy.





Plot:
Macaulay Culkin is accidentally left behind as his family rushes to catch a plane to Paris. He enjoys being on his own until two burglars show up on Christmas Eve. It's up to eight year old Macaulay Culkin to hilariously defend the family homestead until the adults return.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 13

Today we have Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas which stars the voices of Jerry Nelson, Melissa Rabbit, Frank Oz, Marilyn Sokol, Dave Goelz, Richard Hunt, Eren Ozker, and Jim Henson.


The program as originally aired no longer exists due to various edits made over the years. The video below is from a fan who laments these changes. For reference purposes, here's a list of the changes that have been made.





Plot: What do you do if you are poor otter with a great singing voice who wants to buy a gift for a loved one at Christmas?  You enter a singing contest with hopes of winning the $50 prize!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 12

Today we have The Year Without a Santa Claus and The Little Drummer Boy.


'Santa Claus' stars the voices of Shirley Booth, Mickey Rooney, Dick Shawn, George S. Irving, Bob McFadden, Rhoda Mann, Bradley Bolke, Ron Marshall, Colin Duffy, and Christine Winter.





Plot:
Santa Claus has a cold and decides to stay home in bed this year.  Mrs. Claus and two of his elves decide to show Santa that the Christmas spirit is alive and well and how much he means to the world.



'Drummer Boy' stars the voices of José Ferrer, Paul Frees, June Foray, Ted Eccles, Greer Garson, and The Vienna Boys Choir.





Plot:
Aaron is an orphan whose only friends are a lamb, a camel, and a donkey. An unscrupulous man persuades Aaron to join his troupe of traveling performers and then sells his beloved camel without Aaron's permission. Aaron leaves the troupe and tracks down his camel, but in the process his lamb is badly injured. Aaron needs a miracle to save his friend.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 11

Today we have How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Santa Claus is Comin' to Town.


The 'Grinch' stars the voices of Boris Karloff, June Foray, and Thurl Ravenscroft.





Plot:
The Grinch hates everything associated with Christmas. He comes up with a plan to stop the celebration of Christmas in a nearby village and makes his dog an unwilling accomplice.



'Santa Claus' stars the voices of Fred Astaire, Mickey Rooney, Keenan Wynn, Paul Frees, Joan Gardner, and Robie Lester.


Trailer


Plot: This is the story of Santa's early years from being found as an infant on a doorstep, up to the time of meeting the future Mrs. Claus. Along the way, Santa teaches us that sometimes within a gruff exterior lurks a heart that will respond to an act of kindness.

Gagstastic emails part XV

Here's a portion of a gagtastic email I recently received:

I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

So what exactly do you propose be done with those who annoy you? Have you thought about the fact that you are annoying to others? Is it okay for them to strike back at you?

It's really sad that being exposed to anyone different than yourself is so threatening to you.  The quickest way to turn your mind to mush is to surround yourself only with those who think exactly like you do.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 10

Today we have Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Rudolph stars the voices of Burl Ives, Billie Mae Richards, Paul Soles, Larry D. Mann, Stan Francis, Paul Kligman, Janet Orenstein, Alfie Scopp, Carl Banas, Corinne Conley, and Peg Dixon.




Plot:
Rudolph is the story of a young reindeer who is ostracized because he is different from the other reindeer. He and his "misfit" friends, learn that it's always best to be true to yourself even if others don't understand or appreciate your differences. One day those differences just might save the day!

Twas the Night Before Christmas stars the voices of George Gobel, Joel Grey, Tammy Grimes, Patricia Bright, Scott Firestone, Bob McFadden, John McGiver, Allen Swift, and Christine Winter.

I can't find a trailer, but here's the entire program.


Plot:
An entire town receives their letters to Santa returned unopened. Someone in their town has deeply offended Santa by writing a letter to the editor in the town paper denouncing his existence. Joshua Trundle decides to do something big in order to persuade Santa to change his mind about their town. Is it too late??

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 9

Today we have Frosty the Snowman and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

The starring voices from Frosty are Jimmy Durante, Billy De Wolfe, Jackie Vernon, Paul Frees, and June Foray.



Here's a clip from Frosty.



Plot:
Hinkle, a stage magician, throws away his top hat and when a group of kids use it as a hat for their snowman, he magically comes to life. Hinkle then sees the value of the hat and decides to get it back. Frosty knows that he can't stay for long as the temperature is rising and he will soon melt. Karen, one of the kids who helped build Frosty, decides to stow away with Frosty on a refrigerated rail car headed for the North Pole. Frosty needs freezing temps to survive, Karen needs warmth and Hinkle is bound and determined to reclaim his hat. What a dilemma!



A Charlie Brown Christmas stars the voices of Peter Robbins, Christopher Shea, Chris Doran, Bill Melendez, Tracy Stratford, Kathy Steinberg, Ann Altieri, Sally Dryer, Mimi Gibson, Karen Mendelson, and Geoffrey Ornstein


Here's a clip from the part about the play:





Plot:
Charlie Brown is a kid who is depressed by the commercialization and materialism of modern-day Christmas. He becomes the director of the school Christmas play which is an exercise in frustration. He decides that a real Christmas tree would help the play, and so he buys the last tree he can find which is very small and quite sparse. The other kids make fun of his tree and Charlie Brown sadly wonders if perhaps he is the one who doesn't really understand the true meaning of Christmas...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 8

Today's movie is Come to the Stable starring Loretta Young, Celeste Holm, Hugh Marlowe, and Elsa Lanchester.


I can't find a trailer, but the entire film is currently available at Hulu.



Plot:
Loretta Young and Celeste Holm are two nuns from France who arrive in the small New England town of Bethlehem with the dream of building a hospital for sick children. The Sisters discover the perfect spot for the hospital and the owner agrees to give them the land for free if they will agree to install a stained glass window honoring his late son in the completed hospital. The Sisters then acquire a three month option on an old bottling plant to use until the hospital can be built. Unfortunately, the sisters misunderstood the terms of the contract on the bottling plant, and it will take a miracle to save their dream.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 7

Today's movie is The Shop Around the Corner starring Margaret Sullavan, Jimmy Stewart, Frank Morgan, Joseph Schildkraut , Sara Haden, Felix Bressart, William Tracy, and Inez Courtney.



Plot:
Jimmy Stewart is a young man who works in a gift shop who is in love with a female pen pal that he has never met. Margaret Sullavan is his coworker at the gift shop, and these two coworkers can't stand one another! Jimmy Stewart then discovers that Margaret Sullavan and his pen pal are one and the same. Can you say awkward?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 6

The movie for today is Holiday Affair starring Robert Mitchum, Janet Leigh, Wendell Corey, Gordon Gebert, Griff Barnett, and Esther Dale.



Sorry, I can't find a trailer for you to watch.



Plot:
Janet Leigh is a young widow working as a "comparison shopper" to support herself and her young son. Robert Mitchum is the clerk who waits on her and figures out that she is not a regular customer when she buys an expensive train set and doesn't ask any questions about it. She returns again with the train the next day, and Robert Mitchum takes pity on her after she explains that she is a war widow and allows her to return the train. He also decides not to turn her into his boss for being a spy, which leads to him being fired. Robert then invites Janet to lunch where he tells he about his plans to leave NYC and go build sailboats with a friend in California. Janet Leigh has a steady boyfriend who wants to marry her, and now this intriguing drifter is turning her head. What is a girl to do?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 5

Today's movie is The Lemon Drop Kid starring Bob Hope, Marilyn Maxwell, Lloyd Nolan, Jane Darwell, Andrea King, and Fred Clark.



I can't find a trailer for this film, but here is a clip from the movie where they introduce the world to the now famous Christmas song, Silver Bells.



Plot:
Bob Hope is a hustler who manages to get himself in deep with gangster Fred Clark. He comes up with a surefire scheme at Christmastime to raise the $10,000 he owes to Fred.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 4

Today's movie is I'll Be Seeing You starring Ginger Rogers, Joseph Cotton, Shirley Temple, Spring Byington and Tom Tully.


I've been unable to find a trailer for this film.


Plot:
Ginger Rogers has a secret. She meets and falls for Joseph Cotton while traveling by train to spend Christmas with her relatives. Joseph Cotton has his own secret to keep. Can these two overcome the secrets of the past and find happiness together?


PS: It's snowing this morning in Hairballville which is quite rare.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 3

Today's movie is Remember the Night starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, and Willard Robertson.


I can't find a version of the trailer that I can embed, but here's a link to it at Turner Classic Movies.


Plot:
Barbara Stanwyck is a thief who has been caught shoplifting for the third time. Fred MacMurry is the prosecuting attorney who fears that the jury might let her off easy because it's Christmastime, so he asks for a continuance until after Christmas. Fred MacMurry then feels guilty about Barbara Stanwyck staying in jail over Christmas, so he bails her out. He intends to drop her off to spend Christmas with her own family, but ends up taking her with him to visit his family. What will happen when they return to NYC for the trial?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 2

The movie for today is Miracle on 34th Street starring Maureen O'Hara, Edmund Gwenn, John Payne, and Natalie Wood.

I'll warn you know that the trailer doesn't tell you much about the storyline! Believe it or not, the film was released in May of 1947 and they decided to try and find a way to draw people in while keeping it a secret that the film is a Christmas movie.


Here' s the plot:
Maureen O'Hara is in charge of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, and it is brought to her attention by Edmund Gwenn that the man she hired to play Santa Claus is hopelessly drunk.Luckily, Edmund Gwenn agrees to take over the role for the parade. He is such a success that he is asked to stay on as the department store Santa at Macy's. There's just one problem. Edmund Gwenn actually believes that he is Santa Claus. Maureen O'Hara and her young daughter Natalie Wood are both skeptics who don't believe in legends or fairy tales, while John Payne, who would like nothing more than to be Maureen's husband and Natalie's stepfather, believes that Edmund Gwenn really is Santa Claus. Could it be true? Could there actually be a Santa Claus?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La... Day 1

Well, December 1st is here, so let's get in the mood with a Christmas movie. The selection for today is Christmas in Connecticut starring Barbara Stanwyck, Dennis Morgan, Sydney Greenstreet, Reginald Gardiner, and S.Z. Sakall.



For those of you unable to watch the trailer, the plot goes like this:

Barbara Stanwyck writes a popular column in a ladies magazine where she paints a picture of domestic bliss on a farm with her adoring husband and infant son. She writes of home-cooked gourmet meals and a beautiful home filled with antiques. The truth is she is an unmarried "career girl" living in a NYC apartment who doesn't know anything about cooking.

Her boss, Sydney Greenstreet, who is unaware of Barbara's deception, decides it would be wonderful advertising for the magazine if Barbara and her husband would invite Dennis Morgan to spend an idyllic Christmas at their farm. Dennis Morgan is a sailor who has just been released from the hospital after returning from the war. Sydney Greenstreet also invites himself to spend Christmas at the farm much to Barbara's dismay.

So Barbara needs to learn how to cook gourmet meals, as well as come up with a farm, husband, and a baby or she's going to be out of a job!

Ellery Queen!

I just found out that the 1975 television series Ellery Queen, will be released on DVD in 2010!


Ellery Queen

Michael K. | MySpace Video


If you are not familiar with this series, here is a website devoted to the show.

Does anybody know if Santa takes advance orders??

Monday, November 30, 2009

I Love The Muppets!

I know most of you have seen these already, but if not, enjoy!









Imagine if Snads had one of these!

Food Network Humor and Snads!

I haven't been watching that much TV lately, so I'm not up on what is going on with crazy Snads. Thankfully, Food Network Humor is helping me out by letting me know that Snads did a holiday special on HGTV. Here's a clip from their post:



Snads, in order to have life-like expressions, you must be able to move your entire face. When you raise your eyebrows and your forehead doesn't move, you don't look young and fresh, you look old and Botoxed.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Flashback Friday-TV4U

Recently, while doing a search to see if I could find a place to watch episodes of The Edge of Night online (the answer is no), I happened to come across TV4U. TV4U has lots of old TV shows, commercials, and movies that you can watch for free. It looks like the bulk of their programming is from the '40s, '50s, and '60s.

Happy viewing to my retro/vintage loving readers!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Whoot!! T-day is here!

By the time you read this, I should be cooking up a storm. Here's a link to my post from last Christmas with all my recipes. The only change is that I didn't make rolls like I usually do. Yep, I really suck for not making my own this year. *grins*

I've dug out some of my Christmas movies and animated specials for Mr. Hairball and I to watch/listen to while the turkey cooks. I will of course cry when Frosty melts and when the toys on the island of misfit toys think that Santa has forgotten them. I'll also sing along with Bing, Danny, Rosemary and Vera in White Christmas. After dinner, we'll put up our Christmas decorations and call the relatives to see how their day went.

Hope all of you who are celebrating today, have a lovely day filled with friends, family, and lots of tasty food!

EDITED TO ADD:
I made some changes to my turkey recipe because I now own a nice oven safe thermometer and wanted to try it out. Click the 'recipes' link if you are interested.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

RECIPE: $plurge Cookies




This is a recipe I have been tweaking with since the summer. I shared some of these cookies with other people, and I've had several requests for the recipe so I think it is a keeper!

I started calling these $plurge cookies because they are a little more expensive to make than my usual chocolate chip cookie recipe. I like to buy my vanilla beans in bulk, which really helps to make using real vanilla beans in recipes an affordable luxury. Here's a link to the beans I bought last summer- JR Mushrooms & Specialties. The current price is $29.95 for a half pound of beans. If you scroll down on the product page, you will see that they are currently offering free shipping. JR Mushrooms & Specialties also offers their vanilla beans in other quantities as well.


You are going to need a food processor for this recipe. A large one is best, but if you only have one of the smaller kind, I'll tell you how to make these using that and your mixer. The recipe for these is at down at the bottom of this post.




For those of you with a large food processor, place your vanilla beans and brown sugar in the work bowl, and process until it looks like...




this. Click on the picture to enlarge it if you would like this up close. For those of you who only have a small food processor, see the starred portion of the recipe below.




Now, add your butter and process until it looks like...




this. Can you see all the little vanilla bean flecks? Mmmmm!




Now, add your eggs ( you know to crack those individually into small bowl first in case you get a bad one, right?) and vanilla extract to the work bowl and process until it looks like...




Holy Crap! Thank you Snads, for reminding me to add sunscreen and oranges to my grocery list. Meanwhile, you want to process your batter until it looks like...



this.




Next, add your flour, baking soda, and salt to the work-bowl, and once again, process until it looks like...




this.



Place your chips/candy and nuts in a large mixing bowl. My chocolate chips have that white appearance because they have bloomed. Unfortunately, my pantry is not air-conditioned so it does gets pretty warm in there most of the year. Sorry about that!




Scrape the batter into the bowl of chips/candy and nuts, and stir until combined.




Portion out your dough as indicated below. I prefer to bake these a few at a time because there is nothing better than cookies right out of the oven! Just store the remaining dough in a covered container in your refrigerator, and be sure to bake all the dough within a few days of making it.




Let them cool a bit, and scarf them down!


$plurge Cookies
3 whole vanilla beans
1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup (1/2 lb.) butter at room temperature
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups peanut butter chips or Reese's Pieces or replace all of the chips with 3 cups of the chocolate/peanut butter swirled ones
2 cups pecan halves

Method:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, place your nuts and chips/candy and set aside.

Place the vanilla beans and brown sugar in the work-bowl of your food processor and pulse until the beans are finely ground. ( If you still have a few larger bits left don't worry!) Add the butter and pulse until smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla and pulse until smooth. Add your flour, baking soda, and salt and pulse until smooth. Scrape out the dough into the mixing bowl with the chips/candy and nuts, and stir with a wooden spoon until combined. Drop dough onto ungreased baking sheets in (approximately) 2 tablespoon portions and bake for about 10 minutes. They should still be soft so let them sit on the pans till they stiffen up a bit before trying to remove them from the pans.

I use two 18" x 13" half sheet pans for these when I bake them all at once, and I bake each pan alone to get the best results.

*****If you only have a smaller food processor, place the vanilla beans and as much as the brown sugar that will fit, into the work-bowl, and process until the beans are finely ground. Then, place all of the brown sugar and butter in your mixing bowl and beat until smooth, scraping down the bowl as needed. In another smaller bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt. Beat the flour mixture into the sugar/butter mixture until well incorporated.

If you have dough hooks, put those on and work in the chips/candy and nuts. If you don't have dough hooks or don't want to use them, just stir the chips/candy and nuts mixture into the cookie dough. Bake as directed above.

Curveball At 12 O'clock

Some of you have probably noticed that I haven't been blogging or visiting your blogs very much lately. At first, I was kinda in a funk and was just keeping myself busy doing other things, then Mr. Hairball came home last month with some bad news. His employer has decided not to renew his contract at work, which means that he will be out of job in a few months.

Even in a good economy, his field is highly competitive and there are always more people than jobs to go around. Needless to say, we were not happy at this turn of events. He's already found some positions he can apply for and is spending his evenings looking for another job.

I've already informed some of my relatives which really is a trying experience to say the least. While I've explained this to my relatives numerous times, they still don't understand that the rules for finding a job in career field A can be very different than the rules for finding a job in career field B. I'm all for thinking outside of the box, but if the employers in your field are box people, you gotta learn to play their game unless you are in the enviable position of being a hot commodity. If one of my relatives tells me one more time that Mr. Hairball just needs to do XYZ, which is something that is just not done in his field, I think I'm going to scream.

Here's the deal, I don't want this to become the main topic of my blog because you all have your own problems to worry about. Also, the way things work in Mr. Hairball's field is that you hurry to get all your stuff in and then you ever so impatiently wait for news. We likely won't know anything till January (yes, January!) at the earliest. If I get five or more comments saying that you want to know what happens, I'll do a post when I know something. If less than five of you are interested, then you can always email me (check my profile) and I will email you back when I know something. Deal?

Okay, now lets make some cookies as butter, pecans, and chocolate chips are the cure for everything that ails you!! Whoot!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Gagstastic emails part XIV-More Sisterchick Nonsense

Thanks to my non-sisterchick friend Rosie, who shared this gagtastic email with me for my series. I predict that your fondest culinary dream will come to pass in exactly nine minutes if you stand on your head and cluck like a chicken. Whoot!

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~"Oh Crap, She's up!"

Sister, life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.

Yes, you should treat your loved ones right and I suggest starting right now by not sending gagtastic emails.


Love the ones who don't just because you can.


Be sure and act very smug while doing so.


Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.



We've talked about this before, but obviously you need to be severely beaten about the head and shoulders reminded again. When someone is having a hard time or has suffered a loss of some sort, they don't want an overcaffeinated cheerleader burbling about how God wants you to be unemployed or have cancer, or whatever they happen to be facing at that moment. You can sit with them if they want to cry, lend an ear if they feel like talking, take them somewhere to blow off steam, bring over some dinner, or even help out by walking the dog or watching the kids, but don't pat them on the shoulder and vomit platitudes in their face. Got it?

Today is sister's day,send this to all your sisters, mothers, daughters, girlfriends even me if I am like one. If you get back 7, you are loved.


Yep, you are loved by a pack of idiots who believe every crackpot urban legend and conspiracy theory they ever met. Aren't you proud?


Happy Sister's Day!

I LOVE YA SISTA'!!! :-)

Somehow, I doubt that...

Girlfriend and Sister's Week
I am only as strong as the chocolate I eat, the hair spray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life... Here's to you!


Um not to be nit-picky or anything, but earlier you were talking about God, and now he's missing from your list of what makes you strong?!? *boggle*



National Girlfriends Day
What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls? Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake!


Well, we would probably spend less money on shopping, eating out, and traveling. Personally, being in a car full of sisterchicks for more than 3 seconds sounds like Hell on earth to me. I'm obviously missing the sisterchick gene. *shrugs*


TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!

If you get this twice you know you have more than one girlfriend... Be Happy!


I won't be receiving multiple copies of this as I don't forward this kind of junk to others. My small circle of friends thinks these emails are beyond stupid.


PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU! It is good to be a woman.


I'm so tired of the giggly idiot = woman equation you keep hawking. If I wave something shiny in your face will you promise to get all distracted and leave?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Gagstastic emails part XIII-The Clock

To so many great women that I know and love. cheers to you!!!!


Crap!!!

The Clock - read all the way to the end (SO TRUE)

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED: To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.


Well, duh! If the process of living doesn't shape and change you into a better person along the way, you're doing it wrong.


I LOVE YOU!!!!!

NOW YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK!!!!



Oh goody, here comes the sisterchick emotional blackmail garbage.


IN 9 MINUTES SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY,



It doesn't take nine minutes to delete this crap.


BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL 9 SISTERS YOU LOVE THEM, INCLUDING ME. GO!!!!



How about I tell you a really lame joke? How do you keep an idiot in suspense?


I'll tell you tomorrow. *rim shot*




One Flaw In Women



One? Just one? *laughs hysterically* Did you not attend high school?

Women have strengths that amaze men.



Not this old crap again!


They bear hardships and they carry burdens,



...And men don't??


but they hold happiness, love and joy.



And urine! BRB


They smile when they want to scream.



Yeah, ignoring your feelings is really a healthy way to live.


They sing when they want to cry.


Uh, no. I cry when I want to cry. Pretending to be happy when you are miserable is a really bad idea for anybody.


They cry when they are happy



Okay, I'll give you this one. Sometimes you can have 'tears of joy'.

and laugh when they are nervous.



Some men do that too.


They fight for what they believe in.


As do men...


They stand up to injustice.


Once again, so do men.


They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.


Again, this is not exclusive to women.


They go without so their family can have.


Sorry, Charlie. I don't think it's a good idea to encourage women to play martyr like that. Sooner or later she's going to get very angry when nobody notices her sacrifices and praises her for it. Work it out so that one person doesn't always get the old, cold tater.


They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.



Once again this is not exclusive to women. Men can also be very nurturing to those they care about.


They love unconditionally.



Men are also capable of this. Haven't you ever seen a devoted father with his chronically ill child?


They cry when their children excel



Have you never been to a graduation and seen the fathers struggling to hold back tears when their child graduates??


and cheer when their friends get awards.



Ditto for the guys.


They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding


Look, the average guy may not be so big on all the wedding details or baby showers, but they want their friends and family to be happy just like women. To be honest, *I* could go the rest of my life without attending another baby or bridal shower as I find them pretty boring, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy for the people involved.


Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member,


And men don't grieve?? It make look different than your grief, but it's still grief.


yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.



Once again, this is not exclusive to women.


They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.


The average man may not be as openly affectionate as the average woman, but sometimes it's nice to just have somebody sit quietly with you and support you just by being there.


Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.



Men, on the other hand, are androids made in huge factories.


They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.



Yeah, you never hear stories about guys giving kidneys to their best friends, helping relatives move to third floor walk-up apartments, or sending flowers every year to their mothers on her birthday. Who would want that, when you can get a whole slew of idiotic chain emails everyday that threaten emotional blackmail if you don't return them ASAP?


The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.



Dammit! now I've got that idiotic song in my head.


They bring joy, hope and love.



Can you pick up a pizza too? I don't feel like cooking tonight.



They have compassion and ideas.




So all men are idiotic jerks?? That's nice...



They give moral support to their family and friends.



Are all the men you know narcissistic jerks? I really want to know, as you have obviously decided that only women possess positive attributes.


Women have vital things to say and everything to give.



Yeah, it was really vital that you sent this email to me.


HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,


They like to send these stupid emails!!



IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.




So they must receive 5000 idiotic emails to prop up their practically nonexistent self-esteem? I'm begging you to seek professional help if getting these emails is what gets you through the day.



Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.




If you really do think you are absolute crap, getting this email is not going to change anything.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Feedjit Foolishness II

I was browsing over my Feedjit results and discovered a couple that I'd like to share with you. I'm always very interested in the search terms that bring people over to HOTCOL. I'll warn you that part of today's edition is possibly NSFW.







SPOILER SPACE







Warminster, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life" by searching for dessert hairball recipe.


This had me really puzzled and a bit queasy at first, but I found a Halloween recipe for a Hairball Salad With Saliva Dressing . I'm going to assume that this person had an actual dessert in mind and will not be chowing down on what the cat coughed up.

Sunnyvale, California arrived from google.com on "Hairballs on the Carpet of Life: Gagstastic emails part V" by searching for wife hairball vagina.

Wow! I mean, um... gee....


*stares at wall and blinks rapidly*


Um, did you actually have sex ed, or are you just making it up as you go along?


*stares at wall and blinks rapidly again*


So...um... do you insert them?


Do you tape them on like some bizarre version of a merkin?


Please tell me that your wife doesn't pretend to give birth to them?


Just how drunk or high does one have to be to get to a place where this sounds like a good thing to do?


You know, I've cleaned up my fair share of hairballs and I can honestly say that I've never once looked at one and thought...


Marvin Gaye-Let's Get It On.




Uh... I think I need a drink and a gallon of some brain bleach.





Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Broken Beater Strikes Again

Dear KitchenAid,

I really hate the "turbo" beaters you are using on your hand mixers. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the last time and replaced the broken beaters, but this is just ridiculous.




I'm an avid home baker, and if your beaters can't "Mix Cookie Dough Easily", there is no reason for me to have a KitchenAid hand mixer.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

Friday, September 18, 2009

Flashback Friday!

Here's a few mysteries that I recently added to my DVD collection. There's a link under each movie to its IMDB page with pictures and other information about each film.


Murder On The Orient Express- 1974


Murder By Death-1976


Death On The Nile-1978


Evil Under The Sun-1982




Have a good weekend!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Gagtastic email part XIII- The Little Things

If you are in mourning right now, you better skip this one.

____________________________________________

The ' L I T T L E ' Things~




As you might remember, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.



Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.



One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.



One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.



One of them
Missed his bus.



One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.



One's
Car wouldn't start.



One couldn't
Get a taxi.



The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.



He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..




Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be
At this very moment..



Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,



You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.



May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.



Pass this on to someone else, if you'd like. There is NO LUCK attached.
If you delete this, it's okay: God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail!!
(that's the cool part)



A M E N


*sighs and shakes head*

The next time you have a personal tragedy in your life, I'm going to take the high road and offer you my condolences. You see, most people consider it rude to tell a person that if God liked you or your loved one(s) a little better, he would have prevented your personal tragedy.


PS: I thought we had this all settled after you sent that last email.