"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Gagstastic emails part XI- Friends Day / Creepy!

We are having a two for one sale on gagtastic emails! Whoot!

If have you forwarded me a gagtastic email and are wondering why it hasn't shown up yet, please note that I have several unfinished ones in my draft folder. Sometimes I get stuck and have to wait for inspiration or perspiration to strike.



It's "friends Day" send this to all your good friends.

Shouldn't the word 'friends' be capitalized ?


Even me, if I am one of them.


You're not.


See how many you get back.


Zero, because I don't spam people with stupid crap.


If you get more than 3, you are really a lovable person


I'm really not interested in being popular with the sisterchicks but thanks anyway!


.................... I am waiting

I am sitting !




_________________________________________________
I had nothing to do with the random capitalization. It came that way.

Creepy!!

Ok guys, this truly is freaky, the Phone literally rang as soon as I read The last word of this email!!!!!



*screams* The calls are coming from inside the house!!!


I am taking the bait -
What do I have to lose right?


Um, your pride?


Hope it works!


Hope you get that brain transplant!


Supposedly The Phone Will Ring
Right After You Do This.
Just read the little stories and
Think of a wish as you scroll all
The way to the bottom. There is
A message there - then make your
Wish.

*rolls eyes*


No attachment on this one.


Your attachment to sanity snapped a long time ago.



Stories


Let's all gather by the fire and pretend it's dark and stormy night.


I'm 13 years old, and I wished
That my dad would come home from
The army, because he'd been having
Problems with his heart and right
Leg. It was 2:53 p .m.. When I made
My wish. At 3: 07 PM. (14 minutes
Later), the doorbell rang, and
There my Dad was, luggage and all!!


Shouldn't your Dad have appeared in a big puff of smoke seconds after you finished your wish? I've watched I Dream of Jeannie and that's how it's supposed to work!


I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
Having trouble in my job and on the
Verge of quitting. I made a simple
Wish that my boss would get a new
Job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
There was an announcement that he
Was promoted and was leaving for
Another city. Believe me...this
Really works!!!

I've never heard of anybody getting a promotion and moving to another city! The magical wish granting email is true!!

Katie, I read about you in the Death Poem email. If someone invites you to a masquerade ball, just stay home, okay?


My name is Ann and I am 45 years
Of age. I had always been single
And had been hoping to get into a
Nice, loving relationship for many
Years. While kind of daydreaming(and right a after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would Finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday.. At 9:55 AM
A FedEx delivery man came into my
Office. He was cute, polite and
Could not stop smiling at me. He
Started coming back almost everyday(even without packages) and asked me Out a week later .
We married 6
Months later and now have been
Happily married for 2 years.

Ann, he does that to all the women on his route. You'll be starting in a movie soon on the crying women channel with all his other wives.


What a great email it was!!


It must not have had a bunch of flashy, sparkly crap!!


Just scroll down to the end, but
While you do, think of a wish.


Oh I wish you had a brain...


Make your wish when you have completed
Scrolling.


Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Scrollin', scrollin', scrollin'
Rawhide!


Whatever age you are, is the
Number of minutes it will take for your
Wish to come true. Ex.you are 25 years
Old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
To come true).

I'm 40 so I have to wait 40 minutes. Gee, thanks magical wish granting email for helping me out there! As Barbie once said, math is hard!!


However, if you don't send this to

People in 5 minutes, you will have bad
Luck for years!!


Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me



Go for it!!!


Bite me!


SCROLL DOWN!!!!

Scroll on down, scroll on down the road
Come on, scroll on down, scroll on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on, scroll on down, scroll on down down the road

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STOP!!!
Congratulations!!! Your wish will
Now come true in your age minutes.

Age minutes? That sounds like something they would say on those commercials for beauty products where they tell you how awful you look and how their product can solve all your problems.

Your age minutes will be eliminated if you use Expen$ive Crap morning and night while eating a sensible dinner and singing the The Star Spangled Banner. Please ask your doctor if it's safe for you to take the maroon and aqua pill and consume five gallons of water recommended daily by the Expen$ive Crap scientists in the beautiful Swiss Alps.

If Expen$ive Crap can make a troll living under a bridge look good, there's still hope for you!


Now follow this carefully....it
Can be very rewarding!!!!


I seriously doubt that.


If you send this to 10 more
People, other than the 5 that you
Already have to send to, something
Major that you've been wanting
Will happen.


You mean UPS will bring my package today? Whoot!


Message: This is scary!


Should I hide behind the couch?


The phone will ring right after
You do this

*ring ring* This is your magical wish granting email. Your wish was just stupid, so I won't be granting it. Now send this onto to every single person in the universe or else!



I think the most disturbing thing about this email was the signature at the bottom was from an elementary school teacher.