Look, I understand that you are busy and it's really convenient to just hit forward and send a whole bunch of "funny" emails over to me but, this is not working for me. The jokes you send me, well frankly most of them are not that funny. Since I've had an Internet connection at home since Clinton was in office, I've also probably already read them. Look, there are just not five or more emails worth forwarding every single day of the week. If you really think something is that hilarious, then save them up till the end of the month and forward me the top four.
I know you want to save me from my own ignorance by forwarding every dire warning on every topic under the sun because you care about me. Snopes and the many other places to check on these stories is your friend. Taking a moment to write " I didn't have time to look this up but, it sure sounds true to me!" just makes you look foolish when it turns out to be a hoax.
I enjoy political and religious discussions but, since we have some major disagreements on those issues, I choose not to send you things that don't agree with your chosen stance. I can be friends with people who have opposing views to my own as long as they respect that I am a person, not a project in need of renovation, and will allow us both the necessary room to be who we are. In other words, sending me emails that insult me for my political or religious beliefs is a quick way to end our friendship. I don't do it to you so I'm asking you to return the favor.
You know those emails with the flashy graphics with made up occasions to celebrate the fact that we are both women? Well, frankly they annoy the Hell out of me. Especially since there's usually some dire warning about returning it to you in the next five nanoseconds or else I'm not your friend. If I am really your friend, then don't send me things to test our friendship.
Here's what I would I like from you. Cut and paste the following statement and save it somewhere where you can find it.
I am very busy right now but, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you today and hope you are doing well.
I would much rather get one of those everyday and the occasional email about something that is important to you like your pets, your family, your craft projects, your work, etc..than five forwarded emails everyday with nothing from you.