"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My super snooty, oh so upper crust cheese dip, for top drawer folks like myself

I was watching Sandy again, and wondering just how does one get a job making cake mixes on TV when I thought, cheese dip. I should do a blog about cheese dip. Obviously, folks need help making cake mixes, so my claim to fame could be cheese dip! Whoot!

Gather the following:

You'll also need a microwave and a microwave safe container for this *snorting laughter* "recipe".

If you don't have a microwave, then you will need a double boiler. Place water in the saucepan portion of your double boiler making sure that the water is not high enough to touch the bottom of the metal bowl that fits in your pan. Place your "cheese" in the metal bowl and open your can of tomato and green chilies and dump it on top. Heat water to a nice simmer while stirring the above ingredients until it is smooth and hot. Serve as desired.

For those with microwaves:
Cut your two pound hunk o' processed cheese in half, place half in your microwave safe container and wrap the other half and store in your refrigerator for later. Take a butter knife and cut up the "cheese" in your container while opening your can of tomato and green chilies and dump it on top. Okay, if you only have two arms then you can cut up the cheese and then open the can. This is the Famous Ro*tel Cheese Dip I just happen to have a can of Hatch brand 'maters and green chilies but you can use whatever brand you have available in your neck of the woods.

While we are in the neighborhood, who eats that extra mild salsa I see at the store? My brain just explodes every time I see that stuff as I just don't get it!! What exactly is the point of extra mild salsa???? Wouldn't it be easier to just eat a tomato? *totally confused*

Now, set your microwave to a minute and a half.

A little shrike humor there folks! Actually I want you to set your microwave to one minute ( my microwave is not super powerful, so you may need to adjust the time downwards) and place your bowl of cheesy goodness inside and if you have one of those plllastic pllllate covers, put that on top of your container to help keep your microwave clean. Remove the cheese mixture, and stir with that knife you have sitting on the lid of your plllastic container because you have to do your own dishes and are trying not to dirty up a bunch of dishes. Repeat the nuking and stirring procedure until your dip is silky smooth. Serve with the corn chips of your choice.

If you've got some corn tortillas in your refrigerator then you can make up your own chips but you should do that first since the chips take longer to make than the cheese dip. My tortillas today are store bought. Oh, the horror! *hangs head in shame*

Turn your oven to 400F. Get out a sheet pan and either coat it with a thin coat of canola oil or spray some non-stick cooking spray on it. ( I prefer the canola oil myself.) Take a tortilla and fold it in half so it tears. Fold it again so it tears. Place the quartered tortillas on your sheet pan and either drizzle a bit more of your canola oil on the tortillas or spray them with the non-stick cooking spray. This is a half sheet pan I'm using. I bought it at the local wholesale club though you can get them at restaurant supply stores too. They are a practical and inexpensive gift for anybody who cooks.

Now put whatever seasoning your little heart desires on your tortillas. Yep, if you want to bust open that meatloaf seasoning packet and put that bad boy on there okay fine, I'll just look the other way.

*Hairball starts humming the theme to I Dream of Jeanie and pretending that nodding her head while blinking and crossing her arms in front of her renders her invisible*

Are you done yet?

Okay, I personally just sprinkled a little salt on mine, but garlic powder, chili powder etc, would be great too. Place tortillas in your oven and check on them until they get to the color you like. Be sure and try one as sometimes they will look done, but will still be a bit chewy. Start checking on them at about ten minutes as they can go from chewy to burnt pretty quickly! I left mine a little too long. Oops!

Be sure and come back next week as I will be tackling pouring milk on cold cereal. Whoot!


Rosie Hawthorne said...

Absolutely riveting!
Can't wait for the melk post.

Kelly said...

Ok ... first can I make it in my slow cooker, and making your own chips is Monkey Business I say!!

Still, I give that two shimmys, a whoot and a hip check! ;)

I love rotel cheese dip. :)

Heather Cherry said...

This recipe is WAY too foofy for me. Can you please do a post on the subject of boiling water?

Dr. Julie-Ann said...

Thank you for that nod in my direction by including the instructions for using a double boiler.

You are influencing my cooking, I tell you. When I was getting ready to add sherry to my recipe this evening, I almost "whooted" (is that a word?).

Now I'm going to have to find ways to do a hip check. Is that when you shut a drawer or door with your hip?

Donna-FFW said...

Love your reality posts. I make something so similar with velveeta:)

Hairball said...

Rosie- Stay tuned my friend!

Kelly- So that's a shimmyshimmy, Whoot!, hipcheck? That's just downright fancy!!

Heather Cherry- Hmm, I dunno love, it's kinda advanced. J/K!

Dr. Julie-Ann I did remember that you choose to keep a microwave-free kitchen.

Life is too short not to whoot! I really do whoot everyday. I have to remind myself not to do it in public because people do tend to stare at you when you whoot. Past tense is "whooted" as far as I'm concerned.

Yep, that's how normal folks hip check things. Sandy either looks like she's going to climb on top of the oven door or closes it so hard I'm afraid she's going to knock the door clean off!

Donna-FFW- Thanks! I'm kinda cheap, so I don't spring for the Velveeta unless it's on sale or something. *blushes*