"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Gagstastic emails part III

I stripped out all of the pictures after the trouble I had last time.

Who you are to me...
A true friend

And if I don't get this Back I'll take the hint.

Umm, I really don't think so since you send me one of these at least three times a month. You have grudgingly figured out though, that if you write me an actual email, I will reply with what is going on with me.

Tonight at midnight
Your true love will
Realize they like you

Uh, I've been happily married for over 13 years. I think it's a pretty safe bet that Mr. Hairball likes me.

Something good will Happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM


There was a slip from the UPS guy on my door when I got from the library saying he had a package for Mr. Hairball. He will be coming back tomorrow and he usually comes by here in the afternoon. It's so spooky that you knew that!

It could be anywhere
-- at home, Yahoo, outside
Of work, anywhere.

You should go on the road with this whole predicting the future business!

Get ready for the Biggest shock of Your life.

The biggest shock of my life would be you not forwarding these stupid emails to me anymore.

Please send this
to 5 People in 5 minutes.

Why? What have my friends done to you??


'A good friend will Come bail you Out of jail....
But a true friend will Be sitting next to you Saying WE screwed Up, but we had fun!'

Ya know, I'm kinda past the whole "let's do things that have a good shot of getting me arrested" so you go ahead without me.

Proud To Be

Your Friend!
Make sure you read All the way down to The last sentence, And don't skip ahead..

What fresh Hell have you got for me today?

I've learned..
That life is like a
Roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets
To the end, the
Faster it goes.

I've learned that it's unwise to eat yellow snow and stick metal objects in electrical outlets.

I've l
That we should be
Glad God doesn't
Give us everything
We ask for

I can't argue with you there.

I've learned....
That money doesn't Buy class.

Wrong. Money does buy you class. It buys you a seat in first class on the airline of your choice.

I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

Yep, like getting an actual email instead of a stupid email forward.

I've learned...That under everyone's
Hard shell is someone Who wants to be Appreciated And loved.

Well, forwarding stupid emails isn't going to achieve that goal for anybody.

I've learned...
That the Lord didn't
Do it all in one day
What makes me
Think I can?

True. Letting go of perfectionism, learning to set realistic goals, and accepting yourself are laudable goals for everyone. It doesn't have a blessed thing to do with these idiotic emails though.

I've learned...
That to ignore the
Facts does not
Change the facts.

The fact is that these emails are annoying as Hell. When are you going to accept that fact?

I've learned....
That the less time
I have to work,
The more things
I get done.

Hey! Did you know that water is wet?

To all of you..... Make Sure you read all the Way down to the
Last sentence.

I have a pretty decent short term memory so you don't have to keep reminding me every five seconds to read the last line.

It's National

Oh Hell, not again?!? You do know these idiotic things get forwarded around over and over until somebody like me pulls out a gun and puts it out of its misery, right?

Send this to everyone
You consider a FRIEND!

Nope, because they would write me back asking why I sent them this stupid BS and to expect a welcoming email from the kinkiest pr0n site they were able to find.I would deserve it too!

Even if it means sending
It back to the person
Who sent it to you.

Nope, I don't want to encourage you to keep sending out these emails.

If it comes back to you, Then you'll know you
Have a circle of friends.

No, I would know that I have a circle of folks who constantly need reassurance from others because they have very low self-esteem. Healthy people don't seek constant reassurance from others because they know they have value as a person.They go do their own thing and if others like it that's great and if others don't like it that's okay too!


I'm really tired of this.


If you would write me an actual email yourself, I might just believe you.


Donna-FFW said...

so true, its so annoying, I delete w/out reading most that say forward.. unless I think it maay be a dirty joke..

Rosie Hawthorne said...

So true. I have a "friend" that sends me this shit all.the.time. You'd think she'd figure out that I'm not going to send it back to her.
My favorites (NOT) are the ones where you take a little quiz about yourself divulging earth shattering information. Like "What is your favorite number?" 20,000,000 because I want $20,000,000. Used to be $1,000,000, but in this economy I have a new favorite number.

Lidian said...

Those are great answers!

My spam tends to be how to get a zillion readers to my blog or magazine subscription stuff...I had no idea!

Dr. Julie-Ann said...

My MOTHER used to forward this kind of stuff (but they had religious overtones--she's a retired children's minister). I must have been having a really bad hormonal day because one of the messages was just too offensive and I fired off an email about she doesn't respect my much more liberal spiritual views, etc.

I felt terrible when she called me...crying. But the emails DID stop (mostly).

Hairball said...

I obviously get the gagtastic ones. I also get the religious ones -including the occasional "Obama is the Anti-Christ and I can prove it!!", and the ones about all kinds of stuff that Snopes already has detailed pages about. *sighs*