"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Sunday, February 1, 2009

SHCWSL-Double Date

Edited to add: I don't have a DVR so I do sometimes make mistakes as I'm scribbling down my notes while watching Sandy!!

Here's the link to the Food Network's page on this episode. I can't promise any of the FN links I'm using today will be working when you click on them! Here's a link to my post that helps out with terms and expressions related to SHCWSL.

Sandy has begun a trend of sometimes wearing the hair on top of her head pulled straight back. It's not working for her at all. She looks much better with bangs. What adds to the confusion is that her show was actually nominated earlier this year for a Daytime Emmy for hairstyling.

Hot Dates
Sandy tells us a sob story about how she didn't think she'd ever have a date again until somebody set her up on a blind date with The Ladder. This arussipe can be summed up as inserting a piece of Cheddar cheese and one whole almond inside of a date, and then wrapping the date with bacon, and securing it with a toothpick soaked in water before baking it. Sandy who wants to save us "time and money" tells us to buy Cheddar cheese "snack sticks" and then proceeds to cut them up INto smaller pieces.For those such as myself who may be unfamiliar with such products, here's a link . The kind Sandy had appeared to be shaped like long rectangles. Why didn't we just buy the cheaper block of Cheddar and cut some up for this recipe? * smacks head* Oh that's right! We are super busy saving time and money and don't have time for dumb questions. Sandy also didn't wash her hands after she finished putting on the bacon. She also told us to be sure and not eat the toothpicks. ROTFL

Leboo's Buffalo Poppers
I don't know why the 'poppers' are called "Leboo's" and Sandy and her
"semi-homemaker"guest named Steve didn't tell us either. This segment was painful to watch. Anybody who has seen the Halloween episode where she had Tyler Florence stop by will know what I am talking about. If it wears pants and appears on her show, Sandy flirts with it. It doesn't matter if said male guest is in a serious relationship, prefers men, or is dead, Sandy flirts with him. *rolls eyes*

The gist of this recipe is cut up some chicken tenders, roll them in a "seasoned bread coating mix " and bake them. I was so sad that Sandy never once looked into the camera and yelled out " It's Shake and Bake and I helped". After you have shaked and baked, you mix up some buffalo wing sauce and honey for one sauce and in another bowl you pour out some bottled Ranch or Blue Cheese Dressing. Sandy proceeded to forget the name of the sauce she was mixing up and had to ask her guest what it was called. He looked at her like she was dumb and told her it was a Buffalo wing sauce. She did her bit about Me washie handsies!after touching the chicken this time.

Verdura Pizza
Sandy pronounces this as Vuh-dura pizza. Sandy likes to talk about how her arussipes use ingredients you already have on hand. I usually don't but, then I haven't sold my soul to the whack-a-dough manufacturers so perhaps that is my problem.

Anyhoo, you take your whack-a-dough and unroll it ONto the backside of a greased baking sheet. I don't know why we are using the backside and Sandy doesn't tell us either. We brush the whack-a-dough with olive oil and stir some garlic powder and oregano INto some pasta sauce and put that on top of the olive oil. Pop on some goat cheese and bake it. Then take it out and pile on some spinach, artichoke hearts, bell pepper strips and olives that were all mixed up with some of the artichoke joos, slice and serve. Meh.

Have any of you ever had a really large plate of salad and it was too big to take a normal sized bite? So you then attempted to use your knife and fork to cut it up a bit? How many of you ended up with some salad on the table or in your lap? Oh, just me huh? Well I guess the well-coordinated folks will be able to cut this pizza up just fine then. *grins* During the pizza segment, she did babbled on about how her semi-homemade way saves us money. This as usual, resulted in me screaming obscenities at the television. Nothing new there folks...

Mudslide Brownies
You will shocked, I tell you shocked, to learn that Sandy put booze in her brownies!! I know I sure was. Basically we are dolling up brownie mix with booze and then mixing up a cream cheese layer and swirling in INto the brownie batter before we bake it. Sandy obviously needs glasses which becomes apparent when she actually drags out a measuring cup and attempts to measure something. Her arussipe called for "2/3 cup vegetable oil" and she poured out way more than that. I could tell when her chocolate and cream cheese batters were replaced with nice smooth stunt batters. She also called her hand mixer a blender again. These brownies are not going to be earth shattering but would probably taste okay if you like that packaged stuff. (I personally prefer to make my own brownies and I heartily encourage you to make some brownies from scratch at least once!) Sandy of course thought it was wunnerful and declared it a "mouthful of chocolate heaven". I'm not even going to go there!

Moody Blue
Sandy proceeds to tell us that "If your date doesn't work out, you are gonna fall in love with my Moody Blue!" She also said her usual bit about cocktail time being the best part of the day. I felt kinda bad for ol' Sandy for just a minute there!

This drink is potent and and it resembles a glass of watered down NyQuil. Guess that makes it a NyQuil-tini! One serving contains one shot each of gin and sweet vermouth, two shots of blue curacao, and a splash of oranj joos. Then she placed a slice of oranj in the glass for a choking hazard. She demonstrated what she felt was "a splash" by pouring out one capful of oranj joos from the container. The color of her drink coordinated with both her dress and her upcoming tablescape.

Steve got to do the tablescape all by himself and "surprised" Sandy with it at the end of the show. Whoot! We had the usual unhemmed fabric on the table and more dishes than diners would use for this menu but, that's normal. The truly stunning thing was that if you sat on one side of the table you could actually see the people across from you!! Steve cut out some paper male and female symbols that he used as napkin rings which I thought was odd but, compared to some of Sandy's completely insane tablescapes, it's nothing to quibble about.


Public Artist said...

This menu actually features several of my college escapades. The pizza on whack-a-dough? My roommates and I totally made that when we hadn't gone shopping in a week or five. Except we called it THE BEAST because it was a sort of franken pizza.

I also added alcohol to my brownies, but that was because we once got it into our heads that we should learn to make cocktails. After buying chocolate and coconut flavoured liquors, we realized none of us ever drank much. I started adding it to my box brownies.

I'd be yelling obscenities too. Or just falling off the sofa laughing.

Thanks for the comment:)

Hairball said...

Heh, franken pizza! LOL

Sometimes for lunch, I make "quesadillas" by slapping some cheese between two tortillas, putting a little salsa on top, and throwing it in the microwave. I don't invite people over to eat it, nor do I think that I deserve accolades for being bright enough to open up a package of store bought flour tortillas and slap some cheese in there. I also don't change into clothing that matches my food, make up some super potent cocktail, or create some crazy quesadilla-scape. I just eat the darn thing! LOL

Judy said...

You might be happy to learn that Sandy was on GMA this morning promoting her new MAG and some of the "great" recipes that will be in it. Heck, like her or not, she has a following. And she goes to an awful lot of trouble to put those ridiculous tablescapes together.
BTW, I've passed on two blogger awards to you. Go to my site for info (judyskitchen.blogspot.com).
I love coming to your site for a good laugh.