"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Friday, January 30, 2009

It's a Sandy thing, you wouldn't understand...

I was thinking that some of my readers may be puzzled by the alternate spellings, expressions, etc.. that show up on my blog. I'll try to explain what is going on for those who are unfamiliar with the television show Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. I learned these terms from spending way too much time over at the TWoP board for her show!!

I'm sure I missed some terms or made mistakes along the way. Hopefully, some of my fellow shrikes will point out any glaring errors or omissions! If you know the origin of a word or phrase, please let me know.

Thanks to Rosie Hawthorne of Kitchens are Monkey Business for her kind assistance!

Words sometimes used in place of her given name of Sandra:

  • Aunt Drunky
  • Aunt Sandy
  • Ol' Puddin' Cups
  • Sandy
  • SLoP/SLOP/SLop
  • Snadra
  • Snads
  • SHAMdra/Shamdra
  • Wal-Martha
A guide to the alternate pronunciations Sandy uses:
  • Aig-egg
  • Aigstract/eggstract-a liquid extract such as vanilla
  • Arussipees/russipees- recipes
  • Bee-yooo-tee-ful-beautiful
  • Day-kor-decor
  • Delishus-delicious
  • Engines from the sky -angels from the sky
  • Expresso -espresso
  • Fiend herbs-fine herbs
  • Flay ming yon-filet mignon
  • F'ntastic-fantastic
  • fohndont-fondant
  • Gaw-jus-gorgeous
  • Gerbil-chervil
  • Gorganzola-Gorgonzola
  • Groshury -grocery
  • Hard-bowled aigs-hard boiled eggs
  • Imonna- I am going to ...
  • Inajar- in a jar
  • INto-into ( she emphasizes the first syllable)
  • Joos/joose-juice
  • lil'-little
  • Manaise/maynase-mayonnaise
  • MARScapone-Mascarpone
  • Melk-milk
  • Mirinira-Marinara as in Marinara sauce
  • ONto -onto ( she emphasizes the first syllable)
  • Oranj-orange
  • Prisontation-presentation
  • Razzburry-raspberry
  • Rose peppers- roasted peppers
  • Regulur- regular
  • Sodalicious- so delicious
  • Strawburry-strawberry
  • Treasurly-tres jolie
  • Vanella-vanilla
  • Vinegar-ette -vinaigrette
  • Woostishyer- Worcestershire Sauce
  • Wunnerful-wonderful
Words and phrases Sandy uses and their meanings:
  • Acorns-corn nuts. See Kwanzaa Cake
  • Any word with extra 'l's-Same word with the correct number of 'l's.
  • Attention to detail- What Sandy says regarding something she has done that she perceives as special or going the extra mile.
  • Balsamic- Balsamic vinegar
  • Bacon joos/joose- Bacon grease
  • Can I just tell you? -What Sandy says before she explains or confides something.
  • Cocktail time- This is the segment when Sandy makes up very potent alcoholic drinks on her show.
  • Cooking from scratch- See 'Monkey business'.
  • Dolled-up-To use one convenience product to change the appearance or taste of another convenience product . Rarely, she will use a fresh product in the same manner. Can also apply to non-food items in a decorating sense.
  • Embellish-See Dolled-up.
  • Fancy-dancy-Something Sandy perceives as elite, expensive, or fussy.
  • France the 'City of Lights'-Sandy said this on her French Foods episode. It is assumed that she meant to refer to the city of Paris which is located in the country of France.
  • Gravy-This is either the liquid that accumulates in a slowkukker after cooking meat, or the jarred, canned, or dry packet versions from your regulur groshury store.
  • Great flavor- Means it contains booze or a seasoning packet. Sometimes it will contain both.
  • I cannot wait for that watermelon fizz!!-Sandy said this in the Sunset Clambake episode. It was at the very end of a rambling run-on sentence where she extolled the virtues of being outside in a swimsuit near a body of water.
  • Joos/Joose - The liquid from any fruit, vegetable, or canned product. It sometimes also refers to the grease that can result from cooking a meat product. Example: INto this bowl, Imonna pour this bacon joos ONto my green beans.
  • Kitchenscape- Same as tablescape but in the kitchen.
  • Kurtain Kraft- Pre-shaped wire product that you thread fabric through for decorating. Invented by Sandra Lee. Shrikes sometimes add extra 'k's or replace the letter 'c' with a 'k' as a joke in reference to this product.
  • Kwanzaa Cake- An store bought angel food cake in which the hole in the middle of the cake has been 'embellished' with apple pie filling and the outside of the cake is frosted with some 'dolled-up' canned frosting. It is then further 'embellished' by sprinkling corn nuts, (which Sandra calls 'acorns') and pumpkin seeds over the cake. Popcorn was also added in the original written version of the 'arussipe'. The final 'attention to detail', is to shove several large taper candles down INto the cake. This 'arussipe' has since been removed from the Food Network's website. The cake is considered highly offensive to anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa, or possesses taste buds. (Here's another video in case the first one is removed.)
  • Milli Vanilli/MV - The person (or team) whose job it is to try and make Sandy's 'arussipes' presentable for the camera. Also responsible for prep work and the stunt dishes used on the show.
  • Milli Vanilli hands/MV hands- This is where camera shots showing close ups of hands performing activities such as chopping vegetables, do not match up with known images of Sandy's hands.
  • Minute- A measurement of time consisting of 100 seconds.
  • Monkey Business -This encompasses anything that Sandy fears, doesn't understand, disagrees with, or thinks is beneath her.
  • My Buddha... She's faux.-Sandy said this during an episode while referring to a statue of Kwan Yin that she had on her tablescape. The female pronoun is not normally used when referring to the Buddha. Shrikes are not in agreement as to what exactly she meant by this statement other than the fact that Buddha was not corporally present during the taping of this episode.
  • Pantry- The place where Sandy keeps all of the items for her tablescapes and kitchenscapes. All current available colors of Kitchen-Aid stand mixers are said to be housed there. It is rumored that this facility encompasses one whole city block and has multiple floors. She has another smaller one on the set of her show that contains liquor and a large selection of convenience food products.
  • Pop ____ - To place or put. Example: INto your lil' bowl, I want you to pop this Vanella aigstract.
  • Pre -means already. Example: INto the oven, Imonna pop these pre-chopped nuts to toast up. On the Log Cabin Camping episode, she gave one guest some food to eat before the other guests arrived. She cautioned him not tell the other guests that he had pre-ate.
  • Seasoning blend- A bag of frozen, pre-chopped sweet onions, celery, green peppers, red peppers and fresh parsley flakes made by Pict sweet.
  • Set up- to abandon a food item out of camera range, so that it can easily be swapped out for the stunt dish. It is sometimes done when the appearance of the item in question, is more unappealing than usual.
  • Simple simple- This is something Sandy may say while assembling or after completion of one of her 'arussipies' or 'tablescapes'. It is usually said in reference to one of the more insane 'tablescapes' or 'arussipies'.
  • Smartest thing on the block-This means that she has used a convenience product in a way that tastes awful, doesn't make sense, or costs at least twice as much as if she made it from scratch.
  • Sweetness- A term of endearment that Sandy occasionally uses when referring to some of her family members/significant others and certain ingredients in her 'arussipes'.
  • Tablescapes/tablerapes/stupidscapes- This is when Sandy 'embellishes' her table and dining room or dining area, to coordinate with her food and clothing. The indoor designs may include elements such as chairs on the table, records hung from the ceiling and large gatherings of nutcrackers. The design normally inhibits the view of diners and may even prevent food from being placed on the table. Foods are frequently placed on unstable items to obtain the varying heights that Sandy desires. For outside events, a formal dining table may be moved outside and placed in a park or even in a parking lot. Chandeliers can be hung from trees, and motorcycles may be parked near outside tables. When this is done in her kitchen, it is called a kitchenscape.
  • The best time of the day!- See cocktail time
  • Thick, rich, and delishus or TRD- See Great flavor.
  • This gives great racetrack flavor!- Sandy said this during the Racetrack Tailgate episode where she prepared the entire meal on her portable outdoor kitchen next to a racetrack. The statement is puzzling because if one were to lick the actual surface of the racetrack, it would not be a pleasant experience. See Great flavor for more details.
  • Thoughtful/Thoughtfully-Sandy uses these words the way most most people would use careful or carefully.
  • Trick- Any simple tip related to cooking that Sandy has just now learned. If you can boil water without burning down your house, then you probably learned this 'trick' years ago. She also occasionally has a 'trick' that is not culinary related. For those tips, if you know how to operate a light switch, then you probably already know this 'trick' as well.
  • Verb followed by the word 'up'-This usually means the exact same thing as if the word 'up' was omitted. Example: INto the microwave, Imonna pop this butter to melt up.
  • You can see the flavor/Can you see the flavor?- See Great flavor
  • Yum-See Great flavor
  • Whoot!-denotes excitement, happiness, or to call attention to the fact that an accident has been narrowly avoided. Sandy frequently uses it in the vicinity of alcoholic beverages.
Shrike Words and Expressions

  • Choking hazards:Describes the items Sandy places in her drink 'arussipies', that guests must navigate around to consume the beverage.
  • Fauxography-The special the Food Network did that details her life. It is called 'faux', because some facts of her official life story have changed over the years. When all 'facts' are gathered together and compared, disturbing inconsistencies are found.
  • Me washie handsies- To draw attention to the act of washing one's hands. Sandra makes a big production out of the times that she actual washes her hands. She normally doesn't wash them long enough or frequently enough. She also doesn't always use soap.
  • Pudding cups- These are Sandra's "girls".
  • Semi-ho'ed- To cook something using convenience products.
  • Slow-kukker-slowkukker-See Kurtain Kraft under the Words and phrases Sandy uses section.
  • Whack-a-dough- Packaged raw biscuit, pizza, etc...dough that comes in a can.
  • Yoda speak- Sandra frequently reverses the word order in her sentences which reminds shrikes of the character Yoda from the Star Wars movies. Example: INto this bowl, Imonna thoughtfully drop these razzburries.
People in the Sandyverse
  • Aunt Peggy-This is Sandy's aunt who cries when she gets roses and is married to Uncle Bill.
  • Austin- One of Sandy's nephews.
  • Bryce/Brycer - One of Sandy's nephews.
  • Carrie- This is Sandy's friend who created the Espresso Martini.
  • Cindy - One of Sandy's siblings.
  • C'leen- Colleen is one of Sandy's friends. Her favorite drink is a White Russian so Sandy likes to make her White Knight Saketinis. She and her friends were taken aback when Sandy first suggested putting a slice of avocado on a cheeseburger.
  • Fandras - The name shrikes have given to Sandra's most rabid fans.
  • Grandma Dicey-This is Sandra's other grandmother.
  • Grandma Lorraine -The deceased grandmother who took in Sandy after her parents divorced, and supposedly taught her how to shop, cook, and bake on a budget. In different episodes, Grandma Lorraine hails from different states in the US.
  • Hillary-She introduced Sandy to the concept of using a 'slowkukker'.
  • Kimber/Miss Kimmie/Kimmie - One of Sandy's siblings.
  • Lee or Lee Lee - This is Kimber's husband. He has a thing for large, black stone fountains.
  • Rich - One of Sandy's siblings.
  • Scotty-One of Sandy's nephews.
  • Shrikes- Those who dislike her and her philosophy towards food and its preparation.
  • Stephanie/Miss Stephanie- This is Sandy's niece.
  • The Ladder - Andrew Cuomo, Sandy's current significant other.
  • The Stepladders- These are Andrew Cuomo's children from a previous marriage.
  • The Wallet - This is Sandy's first husband Bruce Karatz.
  • Uncle Bill-This is Sandy's uncle who likes Six Cheese Tortellini. He's married to Aunt Peggy.
  • Yue-Sai.-This is Sandy's friend who has a cosmetics line.


Public Artist said...

I missed several posts, and I really want to try the peppermint bark cookies, but this was very apt:

That is until the whackjob store manager decides to move everything around and comes to the conclusion that flour, dog food, and motor oil all belong on the same aisle.

This is hugely irritating to me.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Don't forget:

My Buddha... She's faux.

TRD. Thick, rich, and delicious.


"This gives great racetrack flavor."

Hairball said...

Thanks Rosie!

Hairball said...

Public Artist:
Please do try the cookies!

Mr. Hairball has requested that I make another batch of the cookies as he wants to take some to his office to share with his co-workers.

Public Artist said...

I will, if I can find peppermint bark, or peppermint candy. It isn't very popular in Britain, so it may take a couple of sweet shop forays. Not that I will mind that!