"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived."
-Jean Luc Picard

Thursday, July 2, 2009

And You Thought Your Family Was Eight Kinds Of Crazy...

Dear Marney,


I will be unable to attend your lovely holiday dinner. I would rather eat slobbery Cheetos with a rabid dog than have dinner with you.

Please reassign my dishes to another sucker guest.

Sincerely,
Hairball T. Hairball

5 comments:

Rosie Hawthorne said...

And just what is Marney supplying
for this lovely event?

I guess the fact that she organized the whole thing and is offering her home is enough. What a freakin' gracious, hospitable hostess.

Just wow.

Lidian said...

If Marney feels that turnips are going to be unpopular, why are they the first thing she mentions?

I was hoping that someone made this up but I do have the horrible suspicion that it's true.

I'll be at home eating takeout samosas, thanks!

Heather Cherry said...

"Regulation Size Casserole Dishes"? What is this, the army or the NBA or something?

Hairball said...

Rosie- She did say something about the others bringing something to "complete the meal" so maybe she is cooking the turkey? I've always thought that if I wanted or needed it done a certain way, then I should cook it myself. If I want others to help me, then I need to let them make the green beans or whatever their way.

Lidian- I wondered that too about the turnips! *scratches head*


Heather- *snorts* I thought maybe she meant some of those 9x13 inch Pyrex pans. Would one of those hold 7.5 pounds of mashed potatoes? I've never made that large a quantity of mashed potatoes, so I'm having trouble visualizing it!

joe said...

Hey you're back. I'm glad.