Organization is your friend in the kitchen

Recently, I pulled out all of my kitchen canisters/containers so that I could clean behind them. Seeing them all grouped up together made me realize how having labels on all of them simplifies things for me, and for Mr. Hairball when he cooks on the weekends. I can also tell at a glance when something is getting low and needs refilling from the pantry, or to be added to my weekly shopping list.


I had to make one more label for the container to store the masa harina that I recently bought.

80's Music

I've got music from the 80's in my head today..





I had a big crush on Thomas Dolby.


This song always reminds me of our last big move. We told people we were moving and everybody was so happy and congratulating us on moving closer to a big city. We told them that actually we would be living even farther away from a big city than where we were living at that time. We got a lot of very confused looks from those who thought we were just plain crazy. To each his own. *grins*

Dinner from Wednesday

On Monday, I made some beef brisket with a spicy dry rub, and served it with some garlic mashed potatoes . I know that may sound like an odd combination but, I was craving meat and potatoes! This time however, I didn't use any fat-free half and half in the potatoes. I mixed about half a cup or so of powdered milk into 6-8 ounces of skim milk, heated it up and used that in place of the fat-free half and half. Dry powdered milk is great resource to keep on hand for stuff like that so I recommend keeping some in your pantry. I know some folks mix it up and drink it instead of fresh milk. Honestly, I can't take the taste of it straight up, so I try to use it in recipes where you can't taste it and save the fresh milk for when you can taste it.

Anyhoo, since my brisket was 4.64lbs/2.10466 kg, I had a wee bit leftover. I reheated it and the potatoes Tuesday night, and that was a quick dinner but, I've still got quite a bit left. I bought some masa harina the other day thinking that some fresh warm corn tortillas would be nice. I had just read Kelly's post over at evilshenanigans.com about her homemade flour tortillas, so I had tortillas on the brain. I've never made flour tortillas with lard so I need to try that too as I would probably love them. Sorry, I'm all rambly today! *smack self upside the head*

So I got out my ginormous bag of pinto beans, and measured out three cups into a colander and gave the beans a nice little bath, sorted through and got rid of any stones, cracked beans, etc.. and then drained out all of the water.




I put my nice clean beans into my crackpot ( I know that is wrong but, the spellchecker likes it better than crockpot and well, I am a crackpot!) and put the shredded up leftover brisket on top.

I didn't get a picture of it shredded so use your imagination.


Then I grabbed the following out of my spice cabinet of doom:
garlic powder
paprika
chili powder
liquid smoke
cayenne pepper
onion powder
Adobo seasoning from Penzey's spices ( I got this for free the last time I ordered from them. If they had a retail store here I would be so broke!!) I didn't measure I just eyeballed some of each and threw them in the pot.



I also threw in some freshly ground black pepper. Yep, some of the spices are duplicated and my garlic powder is AWOL in that picture but, we are being rebels today. Whoot!

I cooked it on high in my crockpot for an hour, and then switched it over to low and then it cook till supper time. So an hour on high and about 6 hours on low or until your beans are nice and soft. Why the crockpot you may ask when its cold and the heat from the stove would feel nice? Because the weather here has gone nutball city. The highs have been in the high eighties/low nineties the last two days (for you Celcius folks, think low thirties). With those kinda temps, if I have both the stove and the computer on it gets pretty warm in here!

If you need to get this going before you have to leave for work, don't mess with the hour on high and just let it cook all day on low or at least eight hours. Check your little book that came with your crockpot or slowcooker to make sure but, I seem to remember that every hour on high is the equivalent of two hours on low. My grandmother routinely let her beans cook in the crockpot for 12 hours on low. So please don't worry if you have a long day ahead of you.


I opened up the crock to check to see that the beans were cooked through, and broke up the meat with my spoon a bit. Then I tasted and adjusted the seasonings, and threw in some masa harina to thicken it up a bit. I added 1/4 cup but, I think 2-3 Tablespoons would have been better. Be sure and stir it up good all the way to the bottom of your crock so you don't have big blobs of masa harina.



Then I tried my hand at homemade corn tortillas.

Here are my dough balls ready to be squished out.


I don't have a tortilla press so I had to get in touch with my *gulp* inner Sandra Lee and get out the box of zippy bags. I resisted the urge to pile all the dough balls inside, snip off a corner, and squeeze the dough ONto something. Instead, I took one gallon sized zippy bag and cut down both side seams so that I could open up the bag like a book. Then I placed a dough ball inside and closed the "book" back up, and used a drinking glass as a rolling pin to flat out the dough ball into some rough idea of a circle. You can of course use a rolling pin. I just used a glass because I have a small kitchen and I don't have enough counter space over by the stove to use my rolling pin.


It will not be perfect so just let go of that idea right now. Then you peel back the top layer of plastic, and flip the tortilla over so the plastic is on top and the side with the tortilla is resting on your hand. Slowly start to peel off the plastic and expect it to stick a bit or even tear so do don't freak out if it does. Just pat it back together and keep going.



Then just plop it in your nice hot pan and cook on both sides till its done.



I selected a picture of one of my uglier ones so that nobody feels bad if their tortillas look more like amoebas than circles. I got better results as I worked my way through the dough. I do want to get a tortilla press though as it would go faster and I would have more uniform results. Keep your tortillas warm as they come out of the pan. I just put a folded up dishtowel on a plate and slid them under the fold as I finished each one. If you want to use store bought tortillas you can but, you should heat them up a bit before serving. You can use either flour or corn tortillas for this depending on what you like.

To eat these, you take some of the filling and place it on your tortilla and put whatever you want on top or leave it plain and fold it or roll it up. Eat with your hands or use a knife and fork if you prefer.

Time for plating and judging. Mr. Hairball said, "You have insulted my taste buds!" Just kidding, a little Iron Chef humor.

Actually he said: "Whoot! This is f'ntastic!"



Don't forget we've still got coconut cake in the fridge. Who wants some cake?

Cat pics

Momma Cat sez: "I better be getting some tuna for appearing on your stupid blog!" Her name isn't actually Momma Cat but, she prefers to be anonymous on the internet. You see, when she was a teenage kitty, she skipped town owing the local catnip dealer some serious coin.



I sleep easy at night knowing these two gals are keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

Old Commercials

Yesterday, I was over at Kitchen Retro checking out a vintage ad for the radio microphone from 1948. I wasn't alive back then but, it reminded me of Mr. Microphone from the 70's.

Mr. Microphone | Viral | SPIKE.com

I had a Mr. Microphone. *snort* I thought I was really stylin' with my feathered hair, velour shirt, tight jeans, old school roller skates, and yelling out Dyn-O-Mite! on my Mr. Microphone. Whoot!


Raise your hand if you or your family ever owned one of these? *raises hand*

Bottle & Jar Cutter | Viral | SPIKE.com

Okay, who had shag carpet like that? * raises hand again* Ours was green instead of brown though.


I miss Nancy Walker. I loved the snarky characters she portrayed like Mildred on McMillan and Wife. (For those that are interested, season one is available on DVD and if you have Netflix, you can watch it and the other seasons -some of the seasons are incomplete though- via their instant watch feature.)



*snort* I love the smell of advertising propaganda early in the morning. If you want a happy marriage you better get you some Bounty!

This poor woman should just pull an Elvis on the clothes and be done with it.




I still enjoy the music of the 70's.


This commercial obviously did its job as I am still using their tag line after all these years.



I remember how the "beef lady" became an instant sensation because of these commercials.

Coconut cake

Stop snickering at my coconuts!

I was watching crazy Sandra Lee one day, she made her Tapioca Cake and it just set me off. I got crazy mad and when I get like that because of her, I have to cook or bake something that she would consider "monkey business". Later that day, I saw the Coconut Cake Revival episode of Good Eats. When Alton Brown went into his stirring speech about the coconut cake, I teared up and knew I had found my recipe for this battle.

Mr. Hairball and I had never been big huge coconut fans until we had this cake. We didn't dislike it or anything but, we never made a point of seeking out dishes made with coconut. Now, whenever he questions why I am watching Sandra Lee and shouting obscenities at the television, I just say coconut cake and then he remembers that he never would have had the chance to enjoy Alton's cake if I hadn't become so violently angry that day.

Last week, I made up some coconut extract, milk, and cream. Yesterday, I shredded up more coconuts and made up more coconut milk, coconut cream, and baked the cake. Due to some technical difficulties beyond my control, assembling and frosting the cake had to wait until today. The coconut milk and cream I made this week is for future use. The extract needs 5-7 days to do its thing so when you first make it, you have to plan ahead. After you have your extract made, you will have enough for more than one cake so future cakes can be made all in the same day.

Now some of you are saying you'll just buy the extract, milk, and cream and go from there. You can of course do that, but I highly encourage you to make your own at least once. After tasting this cake made the old fashioned way, I can't go back to the store bought flaked and sweetened stuff as there is a huge difference to my taste buds. Fresh unsweetened coconut tastes completely different to me than the sweetened dried version available at grocery stores.

First, I strongly suggest watching the episode of Good eats if you plan to make this recipe. I have both parts of it here for your convenience. Each part is a little over ten minutes. I'm not going to go over everything he does as I don't want to bore you by repeating every single thing that Alton has said. I will point out where I did something a little different or where I think a point may be unclear or was not covered in Alton's show.



This is my coconut milk and cream that I made last week, mixed together and froze. The chunks are where it is still frozen.


Okay, I've tried a couple of times to use Alton's method of baking the coconuts to crack the shells to make it easier to extract the meat inside. All of my coconuts have been of the rebellious sort and refused to bow down to my will on this matter, so I had to get medieval on them. After I drilled the eyes and drained the coconut water, I got out my meat mallet and used the flat side to hit the coconut along the seam until it cracked and then did as Alton says to get the meat out. You'll notice that my coconut did *not* crack along the seam. LOL



Your coconut shell may decide to be stubborn about breaking away from the brown husk. If that occurs, you can extract the meat by using a knife with a flexible blade and score the meat of the coconut like you do a mango and just do your best to pop or peel the pieces and then remove the brown husk. If you can't get every tiny speck of the husk off of the meat, don't worry about it. If anybody gets snarky with you about this, just look them square in the eye and say one or more of the following:

A)*Look extremely shocked* " I know your Mama taught you better than that!"
B)"It's never a wise move to make the person who prepares your food angry."
C) "Bite me"
D) "Oh yeah?" *Drop pants/lift skirt and moon them*


The coconut is going to be shredded up anyway so just use the ugly bits for making the coconut milk and cream and save the prettier parts of the outside of the cake.


It's going to make a mess so be prepared for something like this after you have finished cracking and peeling your coconuts. Don't be surprised if you find small bits of coconut scattered about your kitchen and on yourself.





My blender died a while back so I after letting the coconut soak like Alton said, I just buzzed up my coconut milk and cream in my food processor. Then, I dumped the mixture into a fine sieve, and applied pressure with the back of a spoon to extract all the coconutty goodness into the bowl below. The rest of the cake I did as Alton instructed.

Depending on the humidity on the day you make this, your frosting may need to be beaten a little longer. In the past, I've had hand mixers that just couldn't incorporate enough air to take this frosting to the desired end state. (Here's some nice pictures I found for further reference of what your frosting should look like.) When that occurred, I would follow the directions as stated and then pour it into the bowl of my stand mixer and beat it on the highest speed for a minute or two to finish it off. Real life doesn't always work out nicely like it does on TV so we just have to be prepared to roll with the punches!

Here's the finished half of the cake that I set aside for Mr. Hairball's office.


It doesn't look perfect but this cake is unbelievably good. I really hope you decide to try this recipe for yourself.

Whoot! New video from the Sandra Lee Test kitchen thread at TWoP.

If you are from Louisiana, this is a warning that Sandy is picking on your state again.

People tend to argue over just what is and is not a real/authentic food item XYZ. Since I am not from Louisiana, I don't have a dog in this fight but, experience has taught me that if Sandy makes it, her version is never a contender for the real/authentic title.

Sandy recently made a King Cake on the French Creole episode of her comedy show. I can't find decent video of her monstrosity but, Kelly from Evilshenanigans.com, is a brave soul and recently attempted to make Sandy's version of a King Cake. It should be noted that Kelly's braiding skills are far superior to what Sandy did on her show.

Edited to add: For those who are not familiar with King Cakes, here is a link that explains them.

Hairball's big adventure

While I was out on Friday, I took some pictures.



It was a beautiful day on Friday. It started out in the 30's but FalWinSpri is just about over as the high was in the 70's today. (We don't have distinct seasons where I live, so FalWinSpri is what I call the 4-5 months of the year when the daytime highs are generally less than 80 degrees.) I know some of my readers up north are sick and tired of winter. Look at the sky in this picture and think how pretty it will be in your location when Spring comes.



Here I'm pumping some gas. It was incredibly thrilling, let me tell you! What? Oh, it was $1.65 a gallon.


I went out to the wholesale club today and look what I found! Click to enlarge to get a better view.


It's individual portions of hummus with a portion of pretzel crisps. Okay, so maybe you don't want to make your own hummus, but do you really need pretzel crisps packaged with it? Dumb, dumb, dumb!


Remember that fabulous recipe for casserole of tongue I posted a few days ago? Well here's some tongue so everybody can make some this weekend. Whoot!



Okay, well how about some cake? Here's a strawberry King Cake.


Uh, should the strawberry portion of the program be oozing out like that? I think it's more of a cake wreck myself.

This next one I call Sybil.


If you enlarge it so you can see the label, it says "Cinnamon Coffee Cake King Cake" Um, I guess it's only got two personalities so we should call it Sybil light. It's also looks like part of it is gone there on the left. Could somebody take a sandwich over to the bakery folks so they don't have to eat the baked goods? Thank you!


I saw some Easter decorations while I was out reminding me that Easter will be here pretty soon. Shrikes everywhere know that means we can look forward to Sandy's Bunny Cake showing up on our televisions!!



Sorry, I can't find a picture of hers but, you shouldn't have to wait too long till it shows back up again. Whoot!

Here's some cast iron pans anxiously awaiting owners who will not make Sandy recipes in them.



My grandmother had that pan that looks like little ears of corn. I always wanted the cornbread from that pan instead of the big pan.

Can anybody identify what these two items are? (No, they are not implants so quit snickering!) My cashier had no idea and had to ask me what they were, so I thought I'd see if anybody else had trouble.


Okay here's a big hint. ;)



Lastly, I made a pilgrimage to the Kitchen Aid Standmixers that were on display.



A moment of silence please to honor those mixers kept in bondage by Sandra Lee and who therefore will never be allowed to reach their full potential.



Have a good weekend everyone!!

Hairball gets handy. She's got a drill, run for your lives!!

I haven't spent as much time in the kitchen as usual. Been busy doing other things like this.



The poster is a running joke in the Hairball household. It's currently on the closet door in the craft area/study/kitty room.

We have cable right now but, none of our televisions are new enough to have digital tuners. Not a big deal unless you get in a situation where a big storm hits and knocks off the cable. I've lived through storms before where we lost power for a while and having our little five inch TV and our power source has been really helpful. Trust me, if you've ever had two adults and three cats taking shelter in a small bathroom, you want to know ASAP that it's safe to come out again. So we bought a digital converter for the little TV and I hooked it up last weekend. We have three channels here in Hairballville that are broadcasting in digital and we couldn't pick up a single one.



So I went over to YouTube for help. I watched several videos about making an antenna until I understood what was involved and chose two. First, I made a small one similar to this one.


Mine wasn't an exact copy though as I didn't have any washers and I could only round up three wire hangers so I had to supplement with copper wire. I picked up one digital channel very clearly and briefly picked up another one but, the signal was too weak so the picture was stationary and pixelated. I set my antenna up in several locations and set the converter up to scan again but, I never could get that second channel back again.


Next I tried one like this.


Once again, mine is not exact as I don't have a signal booster. I can pick up one local station and I learned that the second station I briefly picked up with the other antenna, is only broadcasting at 50% strength but plans to ramp up to 100% by the end of the month unless there are weather delays. Here's my ugly antenna.




I told you it was ugly but, I had everything already so it was really frugal and it will only be used during bad weather when the cable goes down. Obviously, I've been on Martha Stewart's hit list for many years. I think I finally knew it was over between us when she tried to convince me that even though I lived in a small apartment, I really needed to have a special pan just for omelets. Yeah whatever lady, I like Alton Brown better than you anyway because science is sexy!! LOL

I'm going to wait and see how things are after the available stations are broadcasting at full strength before thinking about spending any money upgrading my Franken-attenna.

I also got to use the drill in a culinary manner. Here's a clue.



Soon, all will be revealed....

What?!?

Elbows need love too! Where's the special elbow wipes?

Sorry the picture is not the best, I was trying not to attract attention with my camera. Some stores get huffy if you shoot pictures of their products and then roll around on the floor laughing like a hyena.

We need to talk about those email forwards again...(Gagtastic emails Part I)

Look, I understand that you are busy and it's really convenient to just hit forward and send a whole bunch of "funny" emails over to me but, this is not working for me. The jokes you send me, well frankly most of them are not that funny. Since I've had an Internet connection at home since Clinton was in office, I've also probably already read them. Look, there are just not five or more emails worth forwarding every single day of the week. If you really think something is that hilarious, then save them up till the end of the month and forward me the top four.

I know you want to save me from my own ignorance by forwarding every dire warning on every topic under the sun because you care about me. Snopes and the many other places to check on these stories is your friend. Taking a moment to write " I didn't have time to look this up but, it sure sounds true to me!" just makes you look foolish when it turns out to be a hoax.

I enjoy political and religious discussions but, since we have some major disagreements on those issues, I choose not to send you things that don't agree with your chosen stance. I can be friends with people who have opposing views to my own as long as they respect that I am a person, not a project in need of renovation, and will allow us both the necessary room to be who we are. In other words, sending me emails that insult me for my political or religious beliefs is a quick way to end our friendship. I don't do it to you so I'm asking you to return the favor.

You know those emails with the flashy graphics with made up occasions to celebrate the fact that we are both women? Well, frankly they annoy the Hell out of me. Especially since there's usually some dire warning about returning it to you in the next five nanoseconds or else I'm not your friend. If I am really your friend, then don't send me things to test our friendship.

Here's what I would I like from you. Cut and paste the following statement and save it somewhere where you can find it.

Dear __________,

I am very busy right now but, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you today and hope you are doing well.

Your friend,
________

I would much rather get one of those everyday and the occasional email about something that is important to you like your pets, your family, your craft projects, your work, etc..than five forwarded emails everyday with nothing from you.

Any questions??

I will not eat Campbelled eggs and Spam!

I found a booklet today called Recipes: Southern Kitchens Cooking School. On the back it says it is "co-sponsored by Progressive Farmer." On the inside cover it lists the companies whose products are named in the booklet. I can't find a publishing date on it but, there are two cards inside for magazine subscriptions. You can get twelve issues of Progressive Farmer for $6.00 and any additional subscriptions you get for friends or family will only cost you $5.00 for twelve issues. If Southern Living is more to your liking, then the deal is $7.00 and $6.00 for the same terms.

I flipped through it and found two recipes that Sandy will probably have on her show one day. Please note that the "Campbelled Eggs" are marked as especially suited for holiday and other festive occasions. Um, yeah okay. It made me think of this recipe.

Edited to add: One of the products advertised in the above booklet is the Pokey Pot from the Wear-Ever Aluminum Company. From reading the recipes it must be some kind of slow cooker. The name is stupid and if you are 12, it very quickly evolves into a risque joke. *snicker*

These on the other hand, look like they would be quite tasty! This was on a folded up piece of paper and it said "5 lbs plain" at the top so I'm guessing it came with a bag of flour.

Whatever will I do with tongue and trotters??

Rosie, I can't find any recipes that call for ears. Here's the ones for tongue and trotters. Once again, these are from the Household Searchlight Recipe Book and this is the eighth edition which came out in 1936.

It's all in your head...

I finally found and opened the box with the rest of my cookbooks today. Whoot! (We have lots of books still in boxes because we got rid of some of our particleboard bookcases and haven't yet found suitable replacements in our price range.) Anyhoo, I found a recipe I just have to share with you. This cookbook originally belonged to my great-aunt and after she passed away, my late grandmother received it. The cookbook is called The Household Searchlight Recipe Book and this is the eighth edition which came out in 1936.



There's also one for headcheese. For those not aware of what headcheese is all about, the ingredients are "1 Hog's head, 1 Hog's tongue, Sage and Chili Powder, Salt and Pepper."

Happy (early) Valentine's Day!

I would like to wish all of my readers an early Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm of the belief that Valentine's Day is not just a day for romantic love. Please be sure and let all of your friends and family know that your life is better because they are a part of it. Sometimes tomorrow is too late so don't put it off!

If anybody sends me some of Sandy's Creme de Menthe Brownies, I will retaliate in kind! ;)

If you are thinking that they don't seem too bad, then you definitely need to see Rosie Hawthorne's six part series.

• Part 1
• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6

I'd also like to wish my friend M. a very Happy Birthday!!

Whoot! *shimmy shimmy* Whoot!

Edited to add: The above picture is one of the many handmade items I found in a box that belonged to my late grandmother.

Chocolate Cobbler

I found this recipe in an old magazine a couple of years ago and of course I can't remember which magazine it was so that I can give credit where credit is due. Edited to add: I found the source.

Anyhoo, some variant of this recipe has been around for many years. I've heard that it must from the 1930's since the recipe uses no eggs or butter. I've also heard it must have been developed in the WWII era for the same reasons.

You may be more familiar with the name 'pudding cake' or 'hot fudge cake'. It's the kind where as it bakes, it turns into a cake layer and a hot fudge layer. You'll notice that the recipe only has three tablespoons of oil in it so it is a low fat recipe depending on what you decide to put on top of it before serving. I've been craving this recipe for a couple of weeks but, I think you really need ice cream with this recipe and so I kept putting it off till later. Then on Friday, I went grocery shopping and they had pints of ice cream on sale.

I was a little bummed out at the selection, until I heard an "Excuse me" behind me, and the lady that had picked out her ice cream before me had returned. She says " I don't know if you are interested but, they have more flavors in the case up front." I thanked her and made my way up the front of the store where a plethora of flavors awaited me. So I got some vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, and cookies and cream. Yes, I do have PMS now hush or I won't let you have any cake!


Chocolate Cobbler
1 cup self-rising flour
(substitute: Place 1 1/2 tsps baking powder and 1/2 tsp salt in a measuring cup. Add enough all purpose flour to measure 1 cup and proceed with recipe.)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons baking cocoa,
1/4 cup baking cocoa,
1/2 cup milk
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 3/4 cups hot water
vanilla ice cream (optional)

In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar and 2 Tbsp cocoa. Stir in milk and oil until smooth.



Pour into a greased 8 inch square baking pan. Combine the brown sugar and remaining 1/4 cup cocoa;


sprinkle over batter.



Pour hot water over top. DO NOT STIR!


Bake at 350F for 40-45 minutes or until the top of the cake springs back when lightly touched. Yep, it's kinda ugly looking!




Serve warm with ice cream if desired. Serves 6-8.










If you live alone, let it cool, cover it up, and store your leftover cake in the refrigerator. If you live with other people and have cake left over, you might consider whether or not you wish to continue your relationship with people who are not bright enough to scarf down hot cake and melting ice cream like they haven't eaten in days. I'm just saying...

Anyway, when you want some more, scoop out desired amount of cake and sauce into microwave safe bowl and heat until warm before serving.

But seriously...

My regular readers are well aware that I try to make this a fun place to visit and hopefully bring a smile to your face. The truth is that I know some of you are really struggling right now. When times are bad, we all need a distraction from our troubles and hopefully I've helped just a bit with that.

I'd like to ask those of you who are doing okay right now to think about those in your community and our nation who are having a tough time right now. The food banks in some cities and towns are not able to meet the demand as the numbers of the unemployed continue to rise. I'm asking you to make a donation to your local food bank or to Feeding America. I know that some of you make charitable donations every single month and I know whatever charities you are supporting are eternally grateful for regular donors such as yourself. Can you possibly do a little more? Even donating five dollars could help a hungry child, adult, or senior to have a hot meal today. I just made a donation, anybody else want to join me?

She's crafty...

Ah the joys of new readers from foreign lands! *waves*

One of my newest readers has requested that I blog about crafting here at my little corner of the world. I do some crafting but, I don't normally post pics as I don't want to bore anyone with my artistic delights. Since one of you has requested it though, I will share some of my favorites.


I call this first one the Kabob and Cut. You never know when a grilling emergency or a need for scissors will arise. You can kill two birds with one stone when sporting the Kabob and Cut. Just let loose your lovely locks and you can be the heroine at your next party, Kindergarten class or knife fight. Fun for all ages and lengths of hair*



*Kabob and Cut comes with a bottle of glue from a fine nation that doesn't believe in vowels. If your hair is not long enough to hold up the Kabob and Cut on its own, then apply the glue liberally and attach the Kabob and Cut to whichever side of your head you would not mind being permanently damaged.

Here is my personal favorite, Colander on a Lanyard. Ropes or chains are so 19th century and lanyards are so fun and perky! Notice here that the lanyard is in a sedate grey color suitable for the most conservative of offices.




You will also receive one bright green and one soft pink lanyard. The green one is zippy and fun and will attract the man of your dreams to your side when you wear it with your colander while drowning your sorrows at the local dive. The pink is for those more intimate moments when it's just you, your beloved, and your Colander on a Lanyard. Oh and just between us girls, he'll never notice those extra toes if you place your colander so that it reflects the light into his eyes just the right way. *wink wink*