Whoot! Hairball finds another fab-u-lous recipe to try!!

My dear readers, you simply must make this ASAP!


Go find some paper and a pen and I'll watch the crazy local weather dude do his thing while waiting for you to come back.



Are you ready for this?



Are you sure??



Hang ONto your undies because this will blow you away!



Okay round up the following ingredients:


2 lbs ground turkey or hamburger seasoned cooked and drained
3 2lb bags tater tots
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
2 cans cream of chicken soup
2 cans evaporated milk


Gotcha!!


You really thought I was gonna make the Duggar Family's Tater Tot Casserole!?!


You guys are hysterical!! ROTFL!!!! Whoot!!

Stop putting old songs I like on commercials!!

I saw a Tums commercial this past weekend featuring this song.



I like this song and it really bugs me to now think of antacids whenever I hear it. Thanks a lot GlaxoSmithKline!

* Goes off to find some antacid not made by these clowns.*

Whoot! Smorritos in da test kitchen!!

Marilyn, of Foodies Untie, has bravely attempted to make the smorritos recipe from the Log Cabin Camping episode of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee.

Sandra Lee goes camping. Film at 11!

There's a new episode of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee premiering this Sunday called Log Cabin Camping.

Sandra goes camping in Bear Mountain State Park with her friend Jeff. On the menu: Tart and Tangy Rib Eye Steaks; Barbeque Roasted Potatoes;Veggie Stuffed Onions; Smorritos & a Risky Whiskey cocktail.

Man, I hope the bears went camping over at Human Mountain State Park because crazy blonde lady is in the house! Whoot!

In looking over the arussipes, three of them caught my eye.

Veggie Stuffed Onions

Sandy frequently tells us to buy "pre-chopped" frozen onions,
(Yes, Dr. Julie-Ann I'm dead serious!) because chopping onions is monkey business. So it makes perfect sense that Sandy has arussipe this week which instructs us to:

Slice off the top third of each onion and set aside; save tops. Slice an "X" in the inner 2/3 off each onion. Using a spoon remove the inside of the onion forming a bowl. Dice the removed inner section of the onions and set aside.

In a medium bowl combine the vegetable medley, diced onion, herb garden seasoning and cheese. Evenly divide the mixture into each onion bowl. Top each filled onion with a tablespoon of butter.

Cover the onion with its original top. Wrap with 2 layers of foil and place on the grill or in a preheated 400 degree F oven. Grill or bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until onions are tender.

*wipes tears from face from laughing* Whoot!

Uh, Sandy? Do you think that after you've been knocking back the double vanella vodkas with a splash of vanella vodka and a twist of vanella vodka that you can do this? Seriously?? Uh, I've seen your mad knife skillz. Girl, if you don't let MV do this, you are gonna cut your hand off!

Risky Whiskey

Well, in looking over the ingredients, I know why it's called "Risky". It's because just reading it may make you tipsy enough to fall off the mountain. Hang on a bit. *Hairball moves computer chair and sits on floor* Can't be too careful now can we?

3 parts whisky
1/4 part maple syrup
Splash sweet vermouth
Splash lime juice
Dash bitters
Ice cubes

I think I'll use a gallon as my unit of measurement for this to keep things simple. So three gallons of whiskey, 1/4 gallon (or 4 cups) of maple syrup, splash of vermouth, splash of lime juice, dash of bitters, and ice. Whoot! Yeah, it's kinda strong but we got enough for a whole crowd of folks! Huh? What's this?

2 servings

The Hell? I don't think I can drink a gallon and half of whiskey in my lifetime. I guess Sandy gets the whole thing. Again.


Smorritos

We have been having entirely too much fun over at TWoP theorizing what exactly these will contain. The prevailing thought is that it is a dessert that will be like a sweet version of a burrito possibly incorporating the flavors of S'mores. There might even be tortilla chips involved just to pump this arussipe up to eleven on the crazy dial. Now some of you are asking yourselves " Why don't they just read the arussipe instead of theorizing"? Well, because when I wrote this post, the arussipe had still not been posted. You see, the trained monkeys talented folks at the Food Network are goofing off so busy with their other duties, that they sometimes don't have all the arussipes up till late Saturday night or Sunday morning.

Here's a programming note:
In case you didn't know, Sandra Lee has a new show premiering on May 10th at 12pm ET/PT. The new show is called Money Saving Meals. I have a small issue with the title. I say it should be Money Sucking Meals but, I guess that's not going to attract the right audience. Another show is also scheduled to premiere on the same date at 12:30PM ET/PT and will tie in with Money Saving Meals. This show is called Dead People Vs. Sandra Lee. The show will be hosted by a medium who will channel a random person every week, and then proceed to cook a three course meal. A panel of shrikes with an ax to grind culinary experts will then eat the dishes from both shows and select a winner. The commercials will feature the tagline: "It's like Iron Chef, only with dead people and that drunk lady!"

Donna's Tasty Treasures Giveaway

Those of you who cook, love giveaways, and have a rather naughty sense of humor, should hop on over to Donna's blog My Tasty Treasures to have a chance to win yourself some cooking related goodies.

Tell 'em Hairball sent ya! Whoot!

Flashback Friday!

Some of my favorite mystery shows from the past.

















I'm bummed that AOL video has stopped uploading episodes of the Edge of Night. I keep hoping that Hulu will decide to pick it up.

Have a good weekend everyone!

My super snooty, oh so upper crust cheese dip, for top drawer folks like myself

I was watching Sandy again, and wondering just how does one get a job making cake mixes on TV when I thought, cheese dip. I should do a blog about cheese dip. Obviously, folks need help making cake mixes, so my claim to fame could be cheese dip! Whoot!


Gather the following:



You'll also need a microwave and a microwave safe container for this *snorting laughter* "recipe".

If you don't have a microwave, then you will need a double boiler. Place water in the saucepan portion of your double boiler making sure that the water is not high enough to touch the bottom of the metal bowl that fits in your pan. Place your "cheese" in the metal bowl and open your can of tomato and green chilies and dump it on top. Heat water to a nice simmer while stirring the above ingredients until it is smooth and hot. Serve as desired.

For those with microwaves:
Cut your two pound hunk o' processed cheese in half, place half in your microwave safe container and wrap the other half and store in your refrigerator for later. Take a butter knife and cut up the "cheese" in your container while opening your can of tomato and green chilies and dump it on top. Okay, if you only have two arms then you can cut up the cheese and then open the can. This is the Famous Ro*tel Cheese Dip I just happen to have a can of Hatch brand 'maters and green chilies but you can use whatever brand you have available in your neck of the woods.

While we are in the neighborhood, who eats that extra mild salsa I see at the store? My brain just explodes every time I see that stuff as I just don't get it!! What exactly is the point of extra mild salsa???? Wouldn't it be easier to just eat a tomato? *totally confused*

Now, set your microwave to a minute and a half.



A little shrike humor there folks! Actually I want you to set your microwave to one minute ( my microwave is not super powerful, so you may need to adjust the time downwards) and place your bowl of cheesy goodness inside and if you have one of those plllastic pllllate covers, put that on top of your container to help keep your microwave clean. Remove the cheese mixture, and stir with that knife you have sitting on the lid of your plllastic container because you have to do your own dishes and are trying not to dirty up a bunch of dishes. Repeat the nuking and stirring procedure until your dip is silky smooth. Serve with the corn chips of your choice.




If you've got some corn tortillas in your refrigerator then you can make up your own chips but you should do that first since the chips take longer to make than the cheese dip. My tortillas today are store bought. Oh, the horror! *hangs head in shame*

Turn your oven to 400F. Get out a sheet pan and either coat it with a thin coat of canola oil or spray some non-stick cooking spray on it. ( I prefer the canola oil myself.) Take a tortilla and fold it in half so it tears. Fold it again so it tears. Place the quartered tortillas on your sheet pan and either drizzle a bit more of your canola oil on the tortillas or spray them with the non-stick cooking spray. This is a half sheet pan I'm using. I bought it at the local wholesale club though you can get them at restaurant supply stores too. They are a practical and inexpensive gift for anybody who cooks.



Now put whatever seasoning your little heart desires on your tortillas. Yep, if you want to bust open that meatloaf seasoning packet and put that bad boy on there okay fine, I'll just look the other way.

*Hairball starts humming the theme to I Dream of Jeanie and pretending that nodding her head while blinking and crossing her arms in front of her renders her invisible*

Are you done yet?

Okay, I personally just sprinkled a little salt on mine, but garlic powder, chili powder etc, would be great too. Place tortillas in your oven and check on them until they get to the color you like. Be sure and try one as sometimes they will look done, but will still be a bit chewy. Start checking on them at about ten minutes as they can go from chewy to burnt pretty quickly! I left mine a little too long. Oops!



Be sure and come back next week as I will be tackling pouring milk on cold cereal. Whoot!

Extracts and Flavorings

You know, an entire world of extracts and flavorings exist beyond the handful I have in my spice cabinet. I find myself strangely fascinated and wondering about the sorts of recipes that call for flavorings such as cotton candy, salt water taffy, peanut butter, or bubblegum.

If any of you just happen to find yourselves on a website or watching a TV program that advocates using flavors such as these, here's a link that you may find very helpful.
I was stunned to discover that some of the ones I thought were the product of someone's vivid imagination actually existed!!

B-I-N-G-O!

Those talented snarksters over at Food Network Humor have brought us Food Network Bingo! This deserves a whoot, so everybody stand up, hipcheck your oven door, and yell Whoot! while trying not to spill your drink.



Feel free to click the picture to enlarge it if necessary.

Pizza and breadsticks, part II

My regular readers know that I recently made some pizza with minced garlic in the crust to see if the garlic would retard the rising of the yeast. Here's part II of this fascinating series. Take a chug of vodka and yell Whoot!

Oh, sorry... wrong series there! Earlier this week, I did see that episode of SHCWSL where Sandra looks deep INto the camera and says "Baking is my absolute specialty"which had me giggling like a five year old at the absurdity of that woman. If baking is her specialty then I'm a ninja!

*Composes self and attempts to look very serious*

Okay, well I decided to try making pizza again and not delete the pictures with my itchy trigger finger. I'm using Rosie Hawthorne's pizza crust recipe for this experiment in case anybody wants to try this at home.

I'm using my bread machine to make the dough here. INto your bread pan, place the following in whatever order your machine specifies:
1 egg
1 packet yeast ( or 2 1/4 tsps if you buy yours in bulk)
1 Tablespoon sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup water
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 cup bread flour
****1/2 Tablespoon garlic powder **** Hairball's addition

Set your bread machine to the dough setting, turn it on, and watch it knead for a few minutes.Then add in more bread flour a Tablespoon at a time till a nice dough forms that the three bears would love. (Not too wet, not too dry, just right.) Let your machine go through the dough cycle.


This is during the rise, about ten minutes before the cycle is over.




Once the dough cycle has finished, remove the dough and pour a little olive oil on your pan and plunk your dough on your pan. Do you like a thin crust or a thicker one? If you like thin then cut your dough in half and follow Rosie's directions for thin crust pizza with bread sticks and if you like thicker crust then omit the bread sticks while following her directions.



I browned some fresh Mexican chorizo. Okay, some of you are saying you've never seen chorizo that looks like the above picture. Homesick Texan has a great post about making your own fresh Mexican chorizo if you are interested. Dr.Bacon also sells it frozen and we got some of his to try once we eat up what I still have in the freezer from the grocery store.





I baked the pizza just until it got a little color, (especially on that left side! LOL) and then pulled it out to do my toppings. I made my pizza sauce from a can of tomato paste and mixed in some olive oil, salt, and pepper. Next, I nuked some pepperoni for 40 seconds like Rosie recommends.( It really does help reduce the grease on your pizza! )I used a semi-ho bag of grated mozzarella and some Parmesan that I buzzed up in the food processor earlier. Then I put the pepperoni and browned chorizo on top and slid the pizza into the oven as per Rosie's instructions. Watch it more carefully than I did though as mine got a bit toasty on the edges! It looks like the chorizo burned on the top but that was actually okay it just looks funny in this picture.



For the bread sticks, I followed Rosie's instructions except that my dough already had olive oil on it so I didn't use any butter on them before sprinkling on some of the Parmesan. Next time I'll do the butter. If you like your bread sticks on the salty side, you may want to put a little salt on top before baking them.

Once again, the garlic didn't seem to retard the yeast. Just how much garlic does it take?!?